


Angelic Angel

by The_Alice_Killer



Series: Trans Love Live! [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Abuse, Attempted Murder, Blood, Blood and Gore, Bullying, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Slurs, Suicide Attempt, Trans Female Character, Trans Honoka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-01-24 12:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18571528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Alice_Killer/pseuds/The_Alice_Killer
Summary: μ's seems to be having a normal life. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Everyone seems happy. But, that isn't the case, at least not for one member.Meet Honoka Kousaka, the founder of μ's. There's a secret about her that only her family knows. But, she was starting to need more support and had to find someone to help. And μ's are the only ones she would ever trust with a secret as deep as this one. But, she doesn't know if they'd be okay with her, so she doesn't get help until she's at her breaking point.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback and random content to fill up space before the start of the drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicide attempt

Honoka’s POV:

*7 Years Old*

_“Momma! Momma!” I cried out, feeling dizzy and lightheaded._

_“Momma! Help!” I called again, tears falling faster on my face as my vision started fading._

_I sunk to the floor, which was slowly being covered by my own blood as it fell from the slits on my wrists, “Please… I don't wanna die… I regret it…”_

*Present Day*

“Honoka-chan?” I heard Umi-chan whisper.

“Huh? Oh, sorry, I was spacing out…” I mumbled as I quickly sat up and focused on the meeting we were in.

Well, not really. I could care less about what they had to say. I think everyone feels the same way about this.

“Are you okay? You've been acting weird lately?” Umi-chan asked me quietly, looking around to make sure no teachers saw us.

“I'm fine. I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well recently.” I lied.

“Maybe you should try to go to bed earlier,” Kotori-chan suggested. “Rin-chan told me you stayed up texting with her till nearly two in the morning last night.”

“Heh… I'll try.” I chuckled quietly, relieved they bought that lie.

It wasn't anything like that. It wasn't that I just wasn't able to sleep at night. I couldn't. No matter how much I want to, I just can't do it. I'm afraid of getting attacked while I slept. And no, it's not an irrational fear!

“That concludes this meeting. You may leave.”

“Let's go!” I quickly got up and dragged Umi-chan and Kotori-chan out of the auditorium, hoping to get away from the large crowd of people.

“That was boring.” Umi-chan sighed as we stopped in the hallway and let the other student go to their classes.

“Yeah. We already knew that from last year.” Kotori-chan agreed.

I didn't say anything. I hadn't paid attention at all. I was too busy worrying about other stuff.

“H-hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll meet you in class.” I stated, dashing off before they could reply.

Once safely locked in a stall, I allowed myself to relax a little. I only had an hour until I had to go home.

It was raining outside, so everyone in μ's had agreed we shouldn't practice in it. I was really upset when they said we should go home right after school instead of hanging out. That meant I had to stay at home for even longer.

“Honoka-chan? Are you alright?” Kotori-chan's voice broke the silence of the once empty bathroom.

“Y-yeah. I just really had to go. I'll be out in a minute.” I lied.

I heard footsteps exit the room. I sighed quietly and exited the stall. I walked over to the mirror and stared at my reflection for a moment.

_If anyone knew what was going on… I'd never be allowed in here again._

I took a few shaky breaths before walking out into the hall. Kotori-chan was waiting for me right outside. I gave her a smile and hoped she wouldn't notice how fake it was.

“Let's go! Umi-chan is waiting by the classroom.” Kotori-chan said as she pulled me along with her.

…

“Class dismissed!”

“See you tomorrow!” Kotori-chan left as soon as class ended. She was going shopping for a present for her mom’s birthday.

“Umi-chan? Are you doing anything after school?” I asked, hoping dearly she said no.

“Unfortunately yes.” Umi-chan sighed.

“You don't wanna?” I asked.

Umi-chan nodded, “Yeah. But I have to.”

“Well, see you tomorrow then.” I bid her farewell.

I ran into Rin-chan as I left the room, “Rin-chan! Why are you in a rush?”

“Oh, hi, Honoka-chan. I'm running from Maki-chan. She wants me to come over and get tutored. Nya!” Rin-chan explained as she dashed off again, Maki-chan gaining on her as she appeared out of nowhere.

I tried everyone else, but no one had time to hang out. I had no choice but to go home. Sure, I could go and hang out alone, but I don't want to be alone like that. I hated going out alone.

Before I knew it, I had reached the door to my house. I gulped before walking inside. I hurried up to my room and sat on the bed. I changed into some baggy clothes and laid down on my bed, pulling the hood on my sweatshirt up and curling into a ball.

It wasn't long before I heard a pair of footsteps heading down the hall. I sat up and pushed my hood down, waiting for the inevitable.

“Taro? We need to talk.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Honoka's family and how they act (and discovering Honoka's secret if you didn't read the tags for some reason)

Honoka's POV:

“Who's that? Never heard of him.” I stated flatly as mom walked in my room.

“You can't change everything, Taro. You're my son no matter what you think or feel.” Mom stated.

“Then why do you let me be this way if I'm your ‘son'.” I spat at her, my heart pounding in my chest.

“I don't want to lose you like I nearly did. I'll let you live in your little fantasy. But, you'll snap out of it soon enough.” With that, she left my room.

“Thanks for being so supportive, mom.” I hissed.

“Ta- Honoka? I heard yelling. Is everything okay?” Yukiho entered my room.

“Mom being a bitchy idiot like always…” I mumbled, patting the area next to me.

Yukiho sat beside me, “Don't take it too hard. She just doesn't understand why you feel this way.”

“Do you think I'm confused and this is just a stupid fantasy?” I whispered.

“No! You're not confused. If it didn't stop now, I don't think it ever will.” Yukiho quickly replied, “No matter what mom or dad say, us two know you're a girl.”

“I wish I looked like one… well, down there…” I started crying.

Yukiho pulled me into a hug, “Let it out… it's alright… one day you'll look just the way you want.”

“But… what happens when I can't use the blockers anymore? I won't be stable enough to get the pills… and they'd hate me even more.” I asked.

“Don't think about that. You have two more years.” Yukiho whispered.

“Alright. I won't worry too much until next year…” I promised her, knowing very well it was a lie.

“Does anyone else know beside us?” Yukiho questioned.

I shook my head, “I don't want anyone to know. They'll treat me differently then. I just want to be normal.”

“Honoka, you need some more people to support you. Random strangers online don't count.” Yukiho told me.

“But they understand. They're like me!” I protested.

Per my therapist’s advice, I started an anonymous profile and posted all my frustrations out there. It helped me a lot when no one else was around.

“Why do you think your friends would hate you?” Yukiho suddenly asked.

I was surprised by the question, “How did you know that? I never said that to you!”

“Your blog. I came across one post by accident.” Yukiho admitted.

I sighed, “I don't know if they'd accept me, so my mind thinks the worst will happen.”

“You'll never know until you try.” Yukiho pointed out.

“And then what am I supposed to do if they hate me?” I asked.

Yukiho had nothing to say. She kept quiet.

“Yukiho! Taro! It's time to go!” Mom called up to us.

I sighed, “Can I stay? Do you think she'd let me?”

“I don't think so, unfortunately.” Yukiho replied sorrowfully.

I don't know what I'd do without her. She's the only one who's supported me through my transition. Yukiho is the only one who knows that calls me by the name I want. No one else will. It really hurts.

The two of us headed down to where mom and dad were waiting for us. I kept my head down and pulled my hood up so no one would see me. The last thing I wanted was someone from school to see me and hear my parents call me by that stupid name.

We got in the car and drove to where we were meeting with our relatives that had come by to visit. As we entered the restaurant, I unwillingly put my hood down and stiffly walked as fast as I could to their table.

“Nice to see you guys again.” My grandpa greeted us.

I kept a straight face as we ordered. I fiddled with my hands, knowing they'd talk to me soon.

“So, Taro, have you been doing well?” Grandma asked me.

I wanted to ignore her and correct her, but that would result in me getting smacked. She didn't take kindly to changes like this.

“Yes.” I tried to keep my answers as short as possible as she started questioning my life.

“You still in that girl school?”

Of course that question had to be asked! Why does it matter to her when she doesn't have anything to do with my life?!

“Yeah. I've started a club and made some really cool friends.” I stated flatly.

“You better not be hitting on them.” Grandma glared at me, “Can't be having you harassing girls now can we?”

“I'd never do that!” I defended.

“We'll see. There'll be that one girl who's so cute you won't be able to stop yourself.”

“I won't do that.”

The rest of the dinner was terrible. They kept judging me. I wouldn't do that to anyone. Then they'd definitely know about my differences.

I was glad when we got home. I headed straight to my room and collapsed on my bed. The tears I had been holding back started falling. I sobbed into my pillow, praying dearly that no one would hear me.

After I had calmed enough, I sat up and went to the bathroom. I locked the door and stared at myself in the mirror, pointing out every flaw I could find.

“Why can't I be normal?” I whispered quietly as I hung my head down.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honoka tells Umi about her secret + learning about Honoka more

Honoka's POV:

“Honoka-chan? Hello?”

I shot up in surprise, “Huh?”

“You alright? Don't tell me you aren't sleeping properly still.” Umi-chan was standing beside me, a hint of worry on her face.

I let out a nervous chuckle, “Sorry...”

Umi-chan sighed and shook her head at me, “Come on. Let's get going.”

I nodded and got up. The two of us headed outside to have lunch. Kotori-chan said she wasn't feeling very well and didn't come to school today.

“Hey, Umi-chan? You'd still be my friend no matter what I'm like, right?” I blurted out.

Umi-chan stopped walking and looked at me suspiciously, “Well… as long as you won't harm anyone then yeah. Is there a reason you asked?”

“Maybe… I'm not ready to tell anyone yet though.” I mumbled, not feeling brave enough to admit it or lie to her.

“I could tell something was bothering you for quite a while now. Is this having to do with it by any chance?” Umi-chan asked as we started walking again.

I nodded, “Yeah… it's just such a big thing and I don't know how you guys will take it. Sure, you say that now, but you might not mean it when you realize the issue.”

“Honoka. Listen. Whatever it is, it's okay. I won't hate you for it. And if anyone does, they have to deal with me. Alright?” Umi-chan stated.

I gave her a small nod and a weak smile, “Yeah…”

Shortly after, we arrived at our normal lunch spot and sat down. It was a nice, sunny day out, so most students were lingering around.

Maybe I can get a closer answer? Yukiho did tell me a sneaky way to ask it.

“Umi-chan? Did you hear about that kid?” I asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah. I can't believe those people. How could anyone do that to someone they loved until then?” Umi-chan replied.

Good. She isn't suspicious.

“Do you think they were justified in that attack like the news says?” I asked next, anger slowly spreading through my body as I recalled the report.

Umi-chan seemed equally as angry, “No. That kid did nothing wrong. They didn't deserve to be killed for simply being who they are.”

“You're okay with people like that?” I double checked to make sure I wasn't mistaken.

Umi-chan nodded, “Yeah. Why make them suffer when they aren't hurting anyone but themselves by hiding.”

“My parents would say the opposite…” I muttered.

“Mine really don't care, thankfully.” Umi-chan replied.

I couldn't help but ask, “What would you do if there was a kid like that in our school?”

“Uh… I guess just make sure no one's bullying them. You know I'm not good with talking to strangers…”

“What if it was someone you knew?”

“I'd support them and do whatever I could to help.”

I'm really happy. Umi-chan has to be okay with me.

“Honoka-chan? This seems awfully suspicious. You've never acted this way before.” Umi-chan stated, eyeing me down.

“I-I… I'll tell you if you keep it a secret. Even from Kotori-chan.” I said, wrapping my arms around me as I trembled slightly.

“Hey… it's alright. I won't tell anyone unless you tell me otherwise.” Umi-chan wrapped an arm around me, sensing my distress.

“U-Umi-chan… I-I… I'm like that kid… I-I'm trans…” I stammered, tears streaming freely down my face.

Umi-chan pulled me closer and hugged me tightly, “Shh… it's okay… I'm not mad. I'm perfectly fine with that.”

“I'm sorry…” I mumbled, burying my face deeper into her uniform as I sunk into her embrace.

“What are you apologizing for? Honoka… there's nothing wrong with you. I'll help you as much as I can. You're gonna be alright.” Umi-chan soothed as she ran her hand through my hair, probably not realizing she was doing it.

“B-but… but how can I be alright when even my parents won't accept it!?” I was suddenly overcome by the anger I had held back for so long.

“It doesn't matter if they accept you or not. They let you be you, don't they?” Umi-chan seemed confused.

I don't blame her. The fact I look similar to a normal girl and am in this school but my parents don't accept me seems strange.

“Back when I first realized what it was I was feeling, they refused to change anything. I couldn't be anything like a girl around them. I got really depressed and… I tried to end it all…” I paused to wipe away the tears that started falling again, “After that incident, they let me be whatever I wanted so they wouldn't lose me. But, they still call me by… that name…”

“What about your sister? How is she with this?” Umi-chan asked, her face becoming more worried by the second.

“She's the only one who's changed and accepted the fact I'm her sister now. She's the reason I haven't tried again, honestly.” I mumbled, pulling away from Umi-chan.

“How old were you when this started?” Umi-chan asked next.

“S-seven…” I admitted shakily.

“It's been a long time, huh? They don't deserve you.” Umi-chan growled.

I sighed, “I can't get away from them though. I'm stuck.”

Umi-chan sighed, “Don't worry about your parents too much. Understand they probably don't get it. Maybe one day they'll accept you. As long as they don't hurt you on purpose, I'm sure it'll be okay.”

“You're really okay with me?” I was still cautious that she wasn't telling the truth and would tell everyone at school.

I wish my mind wouldn't go to such bad thoughts. But, I have to live with it for now.

“Of course. We've been through so much together, I couldn't throw that all away. Nothing is going to change. Everything is still the same.” Umi-chan reassured me.

“Hey! Are you guys gonna come in or are you skipping for the rest of the day?” Suddenly everyone else in μ's came over to us and interrupted our talk.

“Sorry. We were talking about something important.” Umi-chan covered for me.

“Class is gonna start soon. Let's go!” Rin-chan stated as she grabbed Hanayo-chan and started walking inside.

The rest of us followed behind. I was glad once we got away from them again.

“Do you think you'll be telling them soon?” Umi-chan whispered to me.

“Only after I know their stance…” I mumbled.

“That's fine. I'll try and figure that out for you so you don't get cornered again. I'm sorry if I pushed you too far back there. I just was really worried.” Umi-chan replied.

“It's fine… and thank you…” I whispered as we made it to class.

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kotori finds out + a bit of background to Honoka's life

Honoka's POV:

“Yukiho? Can we talk?” I hesitantly knocked on her door.

“Yeah. Come in.” She replied.

I opened the door and walked into her room, “Things happened at school today.”

“What things?” Yukiho asked, motioning for me to sit beside her on the bed.

I did as she wanted and sat down, “I told Umi-chan.”

“Really? What gave you the courage?” Yukiho smiled at me.

“Well… I started asking her about that kid like you told me to and she got suspicious. I ended up having to tell her, but she was fine with it so I'm not that upset.” I mumbled.

“Well, I'm glad you finally told someone else. Seriously, Honoka, you need more support. I can tell just as well as you that it's getting worse.” Yukiho stated.

I nodded, “Yeah… she said she'll help me figure out how everyone else feels about people like me. So, hopefully I can have some more support…”

“Are you okay? Did something else happen?” Yukiho must've sensed my hesitation.

“It's just… what if mom or dad find out? They hate whenever you refer to me as I want.” I worried.

“Just tell them that.” Yukiho reasoned.

I frantically shook my head, “I can't! I don't want them to know my dead name!”

“Then you can't let them ever stay over.” Yukiho stated.

“Fine… I'm going to go get a shower.” I got up and headed to my room to grab some fresh clothes.

…

When I finished, I quickly snuck into my room, wanting to avoid my parents as much as possible. I sat down on my bed and opened my phone. Umi-chan has messaged me a few minutes ago.

 **Umi** : _Hey, I just wanted to know what exactly I should be asking them about_

I thought over it for a few more minutes before replying.

 **Honk** : _Just ask how they'd feel about a transgender kid in school. Kinda like what I said to you_

I quickly closed my phone and shoved it under my pillow as I heard footsteps heading my way. Thankfully, they went passed me and didn't stop. I sighed and pulled out my phone again.

 **Umi** : _Who do you want to come out to first?_

 **Honk** : _Probably Kotori-chan_

 **Umi** : _Okay. I'll text her and see what I can do. Do you want me to tell her, or do you want to?_

 **Honk** : _Could you?_

 **Umi** : _Sure. I'll let you know the result later_

I smiled to myself. I'm glad Umi-chan accepts me. If she hadn't… no. I don't want to think about that.

“Taro! Come on! It's time to eat!” Mom yelled form downstairs.

I unwillingly drug myself out of my room and down to the dining room. I sat down next to Yukiho. I picked at my food, not feeling hungry. This happened whenever they would use that name. It would always make me feel sick to my stomach.

“I'm full.” I stated after a few minutes.

“You've barely eaten anything. At least eat half.” Dad stated harshly.

I winced and slowly picked at my food again. After what seemed like an eternity, I managed half and then left the table to go back to my room.

“Honoka? Are you alright?” Yukiho must've followed me up.

“Define alright.” I muttered.

“You never seem to be hungry anymore.” Yukiho stated.

I sighed, “I lose my appetite when they say that horrid word.”

I refused to say my old name out loud. It even took effort to say it in my head. If anyone had that name, I'd instantly develop a hatred for them because it would trigger a panic attack.

“You've lost weight, you know.”

“I know. I wish I could stop it, but I can't.”

“Do you even eat a full meal?”

“At school. But, that's all. Or if we go out somewhere after school.” I replied.

“Just try not to let it develop into a problem.” Yukiho said as she left my room.

“I won't let it…” I mumbled out, talking to myself.

After I was certain no one was going to enter my room, I opened my phone to see if Umi-chan made any progress.

 **Umi** : _I told her. She's fine with it. Maybe you should text her?_

 **Honk** : _Thank you! I will!_

I smiled as I pulled up the chat room I had made with Kotori-chan for us two to talk in private.

 **Honk** : _Hey. So, you know now?_

I didn't really know what to put. It seemed a bit defensive, but I wanted to get straight to the point. And, since she knows it would just be worse to drag it out.

 **Birb105** : _Yeah. Umi-chan said you wanted her to tell me. I'm happy for you, Honoka. You're really brave for doing this._

 **Honk** : _Thanks. But, I'm not really that brave. I can't even stand up to my own family._

The hell, Honoka! Why would you tell her!

I started panicking a little. What would she say? What if she went back on her decision? What if she calls me a coward?

 **Birb105** : _Honoka-chan, that's alright. It is the hardest for families, after all. I'm assuming only me and Umi-chan know, right?_

 **Honk** : _Yeah. I don't wanna tell everyone else until I know I'm safe from any hate. Umi-chan said she'd help me find out._

 **Birb105** : _Okay. Let me know if I can help at all. I won't let you suffer alone anymore either._

 **Honk** : _Thank you. I will let you know. Goodnight._

 **Birb105** : _Night!_

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Thankfully she's still fine with me.

I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed. I curled up under my covers and tried to get some rest. But, I still couldn't sleep. I sighed and sat up. What can I do to stop this?

Maybe I can read or something until I feel tired? Laying in bed won't help me. I might as well do something else.

I got off my bed and grabbed a book off my shelf. I turned on my lamp and tried reading. I couldn't really focus well, so I put it down and starting looking at random things on my phone.

After it was past midnight, I finally felt tired and drifted off to sleep.

...

**_Bonus: Umi and Kotori’s text messages_ **

**_Umi_ ** _: Kotori, can I talk to you?_

 **_Birb105_ ** _: Yeah. What's up?_

 **_Umi_ ** _: Well, I was just curious, how do you feel about transgender people?_

 **_Birb105_ ** _: Is this because of that kid? I'm fine with people like that. They aren't hurting anyone._

 **_Umi_ ** _: What if it was someone close to you?_

 **_Birb105_ ** _: It's still the same answer. I'm fine with them. What's with this sudden questioning?_

 **_Umi_ ** _: Well, it's about Honoka. She's trans and wanted me to break the news to you._

 **_Birb105_ ** _: Really? She's brave!_


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone else finds out about Honoka + drama part 1

The next morning came too quickly for me. I groggily got out of bed and dressed as quickly as I could. I went downstairs and grabbed an apple to eat as I walked to school. I packed a lunch as quickly as I could. I then grabbed my bag and threw on my shoes, before hastily leaving my house.

I arrived a bit earlier than normal, but not by much. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan were already at the gates waiting for me. I made my way to them, but refused to meet their gazes.

“Good morning, Honoka-chan!” They both greeted me.

I gave them a small smile and forced myself to look at them, “Morning.”

“You're early for once.” Umi-chan pointed out as we made our way to the club room.

I shrugged, “Traffic was lighter than normal.”

We entered the room to find it was empty. That wasn't a surprise. Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan are probably in the Student Council room doing some work. I guess the others haven't made it to school yet.

“So… how are you?” Kotori-chan asked, probably trying to break the silence that had formed.

“Fine…” I mumbled, gazing anywhere but at them.

“Well, we can't force you to talk, but just know it's obvious something isn't right.” Umi-chan stated.

I sighed, “I'd rather tell you somewhere no one else will hear.”

“Oh, that's fine. We can arrange that later.” Umi-chan stated, giving me a caring look.

“Isn't everyone else here yet?” Nozomi-chan entered the room with Eli-chan right behind her.

“No. Haven't seen them at all today.” I answered, seeing as I was the closest to the door.

“I wonder where those four ended up at?” Eli-chan said as she looked down the hallways.

“Who knows. Are you coming in or just standing there?” Umi-chan stated as she stepped back a little to make room.

Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan stepped inside and closed the door. We all sat down at the table and made some small talk, waiting for the other four members to arrive.

After a few minutes, the door burst open to reveal a flustered Rin-chan, “Guys!”

“What's wrong, Rin?” Eli-chan asked calmly.

Rin-chan nervously walked in, “There's some girls outside the school spreading something. I don't wanna say it…”

“Is that where you guys have been?” Umi-chan asked, keeping her tone a lot calmer than she normally would when someone arrived late.

Rin-chan nodded, “Maki-chan has been arguing with them.”

“Can you get her to stop and come here? We can all talk about it once we're in here.” Nozomi-chan requested.

Rin-chan nodded and dashed off to go find them again.

“What do you think this is about?” Kotori-chan asked.

Eli-chan shrugged, “Who knows. There always has to be something going on.”

“Well, let's wait and see.” Nozomi-chan replied.

We all sat in silence, pondering what it could be about. I don't know why, but I feel it may have to do with me. What if someone saw me when I was out with my family? Or, what if someone in my family told someone? Am I done for?

“I got them, nya!” Rin-chan barged back in the room, followed by the other three girls.

“Take a seat, please.” Eli-chan asked them.

They all sat down. Silence hung heavy in the air for a moment.

“Mind explaining what those girls are going on about today?” Umi-chan broke the silence first.

Everyone gazes shifted to Maki-chan. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

“Well, apparently they think that there's a boy in our school.” Maki-chan managed to say, before her face became bright red.

“What could they mean? There's no way a boy would be allowed in school. Everyone would notice right away.” Eli-chan stated.

Kotori-chan and Umi-chan both stared at me without the others noticing. They knew it was me they were talking about. Who else could it be? So now, what do I do? Should I tell them?

“Did they threaten to do anything to this boy?” Umi-chan asked.

Nico-chan nodded and took over for Maki-chan, “They said they'd pick a fight with him at lunch so everyone could see and then get him expelled.”

I froze up. What? No! They'll all find out! But, maybe I have a chance here? Maybe they could be on my side. But, if not…

“Should we do anything?” Rin-chan asked.

“If we knew who they were talking about, we could certainly help figure out the situation.” Nozomi-chan replied, “I don't think they should be able to get away with their actions so easily.”

Everyone started throwing around suggestions on what the girls could've meant by boy. None of them seemed to think they really meant a boy. They all thought it was just a girl who was a bit on the boyish side, kinda like Rin-chan. But, they don't know that technically, there is someone in school who has a boy's body. But, they're not a boy.

I gulped, “Guys?”

Everyone went quiet and turned to look at me. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan gave me worried looks. They knew what I was going to do.

“Yes, Honoka?” Eli-chan asked.

I took a deep breath, “They're talking about me.”

Everyone's expressions, except for Umi-chan and Kotori-chan's, changed to confusion, “Huh?”

“I… I-I'm trans. I… I'm sorry!” I couldn't handle witnessing their reactions and dashed out of the room.

“Honoka-chan!” Umi-chan called before I exited the room.

I ignored her and ran to the farthest bathroom on the floor, hoping no one would get in my way.

I locked myself in a stall and started sobbing. What if they hate me now? Did I just ruin everything? I shouldn't have ever gone to this school. I should've just sucked it up and went to a boy-only school. Or maybe I should've just been online schooled.

I sat there in silence, my thoughts drowning me in negativity. I haven't felt this bad since I was young, really young. I could barely stop myself from clawing my flesh off as I broke down.

After a few minutes by myself, I managed to calm enough so I wasn't a danger to myself anymore. Though, my body wasn't saved from any damage. I had dug my nails into my ankles as hard as I could. They weren't bleeding anymore and were barely noticeable. I felt ashamed of myself for breaking the promise I made with Yukiho. I swore I'd never cut or hurt myself again. But, now I did. After nine years I broke it...

“Honoka?” I froze up as I heard Nozomi-chan’s voice from outside the stall.

“Leave me alone…” I mumbled, “You don't need to bother.”

“I'm not leaving until you come out. I'll stay as long as I need to.” Nozomi-chan stated softly.

I heard her sit down, staying true to her words. We sat there in silence for a while. I was hoping she'd leave after not getting any response, but she didn't budge. As much as I wanted her to leave me in peace, I couldn't help but feel a little grateful that she was here. Maybe that's because I can't get attacked with her here?

That happened before. I was just doing my normal routine after class and then some girls decided it would be a good idea to start picking on me. I kinda just ignored them, but they started getting pissed I wasn't responding like they wanted me to and got physical. Now that I know some people know who, well what, I am, I guess I'm afraid they could corner me in here.

“Nozomi-chan? Why are you still here? I told you I didn't want you here.” I mumbled after another few minutes of silence.

“Because, I refuse to leave you by yourself. I told you I'll wait as long as it takes. Even if that means after the bell rings, I'll still be here waiting.” Nozomi-chan replied.

I desperately wanted to whisper a thank you, but I held back. I was still so conflicted on whether I wanted her here or not.

Well, I guess she isn't leaving. I guess I should ask about them. I'm safe in here. There's a door between us, so she couldn't do anything.

“How is everyone?” I quietly asked, “Do you all hate me now?”

“Umi explained everything. Why didn't you tell us sooner? We would've helped you.” Nozomi-chan replied.

“You guys are all okay with me?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. Why wouldn't we be? You really think we'd hate you for something out of your control?” Nozomi replied.

“Most people believe it's in my control…” I mumbled.

I heard Nozomi-chan hum softly from the other side, “Well, then f-them!”

I couldn't help but giggle slightly at Nozomi-chan's censorship. I stood up slowly and unlocked the door. I heard Nozomi-chan move away. I took a few deep breaths before slowly pushing the door open. Nozomi-chan was standing by the sinks opposite of the stalls.

Nozomi-chan smiled and held out a hand to me, “Shall we go?”

“I guess…” I mumbled, hesitantly taking her hand.

We slowly walked back to the club room. I was afraid to go back to them. Even if they don't hate me, what if they want nothing to do with me now?

Nozomi-chan let me set the pace we went at. We were going quite slowly, so I would've assumed she'd tell me to go faster, but instead she just fell back and walked beside me at my pace.

“Hello, Nozomi-senpai!” Two girls walked over to us.

“Is there something you need? I'm a little busy at the moment.” Nozomi-chan replied.

The girls turned and glared at me, “Why're you wasting your time helping a _boy_?”

I froze up, before cowering behind Nozomi-chan. I was afraid they'd try and attack me now. They very well could, and I don't doubt they would either.

“I don't know what you're talking about. There's no boy in this school.” Nozomi-chan replied, giving a glare back to them.

“Just wait. Once we tell principal Minami, he'll be kicked out for sure!” They sent me one last glare, before marching off.

I ran ahead of Nozomi-chan and went into the nearest bathroom. Once I was in a stall, I bent over the toilet and threw up.

I didn't normally get that bad after incidents, but that one really shook me up. After a few minutes of waiting to make sure I wouldn't throw up more, I shakily got up , flushed the toilet, and opened the door.

No one was inside the bathroom. That's a relief. I splashed some water on my face, before hesitantly leaving the bathroom.

Nozomi-chan was waiting outside. I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze.

“You alright? Do you wanna go to the nurse?” She asked me.

I shook my head, “I'm fine… and I don't want to be alone…”

“I understand. Come on. They'll be wondering where we got to.” Nozomi-chan gently pushed me toward the club room's direction.

“Please don't tell them about this.” I begged.

“I'll be telling them about those girls, but that's it.” Nozomi-chan told me, “The rest stays between us.”

“Okay…” I mumbled, moving closer to her side as we navigated the hallway as it became more crowded by the minute.

We stopped outside the club room. I wasn't ready to face them yet. But I had no choice.

“It'll be alright.” Nozomi-chan assured me as she slowly opened the door.

She motioned for me to go in first. I took a deep breath, before facing my fears and walking inside. Immediately, I was pulled into a hug. I looked to my side and saw Rin-chan hugging me. Then, everyone else started following her lead. Within a minute or two, I was surrounded by everyone in μ's as they all hugged me.

I felt tears prick my eyes. Before I could stop them, I started sobbing. Umi-chan pulled me close to her as I continued to cry. Kotori-chan joined in the hug as well.

The two of them said nothing to me. They just waited as I calmed down. After a few minutes, I stopped crying and shaking. I reluctantly let go of my two closest friends and faced everyone.

I looked at them all one-by-one, taking in their expressions with wide eyes. Each of them had a reassuring smile on their face.

“Guys… I don't know what to say… but, thank you…” I managed to mumbled out, moving my gaze to the floor.

“We're all here for you. No matter what happens, we'll always be by your side.”

“Thank you… I never thought anyone would accept me…” I mumbled, still refusing to bring my gaze back up to them.

“Well, we all do. And we're not letting anyone say otherwise.”

“Speaking of that… we ran into the girls that are causing all this trouble.” Nozomi-chan decided it was time to tell them.

Eli-chan seemed very interested in that, “You did? Do you know who they are?”

“Nope. Never saw them before.” Nozomi-chan shrugged.

“What did they say when you ran into them?” Umi-chan asked.

“They threatened to report me and get me expelled.” I whispered quietly.

“Kotori, maybe you should speak to your mother about this. Before, y'know, they take it too far.” Nozomi-chan suggested.

Kotori-chan nodded, “Of course. Should I do that now?”

“Yes. They said they were going to tell her.” Nozomi-chan explained.

Kotori-chan nodded and walked away.

“The bell will be ringing soon. We should probably get to class.” Maki-chan pointed out.

Everyone slowly got up and headed to their respective rooms. Umi-chan and I decided to go and wait for Kotori-chan instead. We stood outside the Principal's Office and listened to see if we could hear anything.

“I'll see… maybe we can… that might be for the best…”

We could only hear snippets of the conversation. There wasn't enough to piece anything together, though.

After a few minutes, the door opened and they both exited.

“Ah, Honoka, Umi. What are you doing out here?” Mrs. Minami seemed surprised.

“We were waiting for Kotori…” Umi-chan mumbled.

“Oh. You three better run along now. Don't want to be marked late.” She chuckled slightly, before leaving the three of us alone.

“So…” I mumbled.

“She said she'll make sure they won't give you any trouble.” Kotori-chan replied, knowing what I was asking for.

“Okay…” I said quietly.

Kotori-chan reached over and grabbed my hand, “It'll be alright, Honoka-chan. You have us here.”

“Yeah,” Umi-chan stated as she grabbed my other hand, “All of us are going to help you get through this. You won't ever be alone.”

I gripped their hand back a bit tighter than needed, “Thank you… I'm glad I have such awesome friends.”

We all smiled at each other, before walking hand-in-hand to our classroom. I finally have people who can help me. I don't have to hide anymore.

But, now I have to deal with my family. If they find out, it's not gonna go very smoothly. I guess I could tell them at lunch. I guess it needs to be said eventually, doesn't it?

...

_**Bonus: Conversation after Honoka left** _

_“Honoka-chan!” Umi called as Honoka dashed out of the room, tears running down her face._

_“She's trans? What is that?” Hanayo asked, confused as to why Honoka made such a big deal over it._

_“That means she was born with a boy's body, but has the mind of a girl.” Eli decided to be the one to explain._

_“Oh. So, why did she run away?” Hanayo still didn't seem to connect the dots yet._

_“She doesn't have any way to know how everyone feels about that. A lot of people hate people like Honoka, so she's afraid you guys would too.” Umi replied, her eyes still on the door, hoping Honoka would come in. Kotori reached over and held her hand in an attempt to help calm her and Umi's nerves._

_“Why?! What do they have against her?” Hanayo demanded. She didn't like the fact people hated Honoka for a simple reason like that. She had no issue with the fact Honoka technically wasn't considered a girl in the medical side of things. Honoka was Honoka and she wouldn't ever change that._

_“Well, up until she realized she wasn't in the right body, everyone thought she was a boy. And when she said otherwise, no one would listen to her. They told her she was the confused one and that she needed to snap out of it. When you get used to something, it's hard to change it, right? That's the problem. They don't want to change, they want her to change.” Umi explained as best she could without giving away too much about what Honoka had told her._

_“Meanies…” Hanayo muttered._

_Everyone chuckled. Hanayo being so innocent lightened the mood a little._

_“Who should go get her? We can't just leave her out alone where those girls could get her, right?” Maki asked._

_“I'll go.” Umi got up to go, but Nozomi stopped her._

_“I think it's best someone else goes. That way she'll hopefully know that we're all fine with her.” Nozomi explained._

_“I guess that's true…” Umi reluctantly sat back down._

_Everyone waited in silence, hoping Umi might know who would be the best to send._

_“You go, Nozomi. We all said you're the mom of the group. Go talk to her.” Umi stated._

_“Okay. If that's what you want, then I guess I'll go.” Nozomi agreed and got up._


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antags being mean and confession 1 part 1

Honoka’s POV:

Class was boring as usual. I was somewhat relieved when we were finally dismissed for lunch, but at the same time I wasn't. I still don't know what happened to those girls. And, I have to tell them about my family…

Normally we wouldn't all eat together and instead would hang out in smaller groups, but today was an exception. All nine of us sat together in the courtyard.

“Well, has anything happened to those girls?” Nico-chan asked as she glanced around the yard, no doubt looking to make sure they weren't approaching us.

“I'm not sure. She said she'd take care of it, but I don't know how or when,” Kotori-chan replied.

“I'm sure they wouldn't dare try and mess with all of us. They obviously know our stance.” Umi-chan stated.

“Just keep an eye out, but I'm sure something has been done.” Eli-chan stated.

We all sat in silence for a moment, before Nico-chan started up a conversation about some random stories she heard. I was hesitant to tell everyone. What if they don't listen to me?

Everyone was enjoying themselves, talking together and laughing softly. I tried joining in, but I felt I was faking everything I did.

“Hey. Can I… there's something I need to tell you guys…”  I said after everyone had kind of quieted down.

“What is it?” Everyone quieted and looked over at me.

I took a deep breath, “My family, well... everyone but Yukiho, doesn't approve of me… please don't let them know you know about me…”

“What would they do if we did?” Nico-chan asked.

“My dad would beat me up. He's the worst out of them all…” I mumbled.

“Well now. That's not good.” Everyone gave me sympathetic looks.

“And… let's just say… I might not be around anymore if he gets really mad. I can barely tolerate it now. That would be my breaking point.” I hesitantly admitted, hoping that would make sure they'd never tell.

“Oh, Honoka… is it really that bad?” A voice taunted.

We all froze up and turned to look at where the voice had come from. It was one of the girls from before.

“Oh, silly me. I meant-” I got up and shoved her down before she could finish. I can't let them know my name. I can't!

“Leave me alone!” I yelled at her as she stood up.

“Ah, does someone not want to let anyone know their real name? How sad.” She taunted.

“Leave. Or I will hurt you.” Umi-chan stood up and glared at the girl.

“I was about to. I will get rid of you, _Taro_. Just you wait.” The girl smiled slyly as she gleamed with triumph.

No… she said it. Now they know the one thing I wanted to keep a secret.

“One last thing. I think I'll let you all know that _he_ is only in this school because of being overly dramatic and acting so suicidal and depressed. You really wanna hang with an abomination like that? _He_ just wants to ruin your lives.” With that, she walked away from us.

My heart was racing and I felt lightheaded. My stomach was pretty upset as well. She really wanted to effectively hurt me.

“You heard her _tranny_. Go kill yourself you disgusting excuse of a human!” The other trouble maker appeared and sneered at me as she left.

The last thing I remember is feeling really lightheaded and stumbling backwards, concerned shouts consisting of mainly my name, feeling someone grab me tightly from behind, and then everything slowly went black.

…

_Beep Beep_

I groggily opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room. There was a constant beeping beside me. I turned my head to look, but I couldn't see what it was.

I think I'm in the hospital.

I carefully pulled myself into a sitting position and took in my surroundings.

Yep. Definitely a hospital. What happened?

I looked around until my gaze fell to my bedside. Umi-chan was sleeping in a chair beside me, her head resting on the bed.

How long has it been? Have I worried everyone a lot?

As much as I wanted answers, I didn't wanna wake Umi-chan up and make her mad. Even though I doubt she'd be considering the situation.

The door to my room opened up. My parents walked in. A few seconds passed before they moved closer to me.

“Mind explaining why you're here?” Dad asked impatiently.

I lowered my head and shook it, “I don't know why I'm here.”

“Who's this?” Mom glanced down at Umi-chan, a disapproving look in her eyes.

“A friend.” I mumbled.

“Fine. Taro, you can leave whenever. Don't come home until you want to explain.” Dad stated as he headed for the door.

In only a few minutes they left me. Do they not care at all about me?

“Honoka?” Umi-chan stirred, her tired eyes gazing up at me.

“Hey…” I mumbled, my eyes landing on the clock by the bed. It was nearly midnight!

“How are you feeling?” Umi-chan asked as she sat up and stretched.

I shrugged, “Okay…”

“Are you sure?” Umi-chan eyed me warily.

I shrugged again, “I don't really know… and why am I here?”

“You passed out after those girls left. I barely caught you in time. We left you in the nurse's office for the rest of the day, but you didn’t wake up after school had ended so I thought it might be a good idea to bring you here to make sure you were alright. Everyone left earlier. I convinced Kotori-chan to go home as well. She really wanted to stay until you woke up.” Umi-chan explained.

“I'm sorry I caused you guys so much trouble…” I mumbled.

Umi-chan frowned slightly, “You didn't. It wasn't your fault this happened.”

“I can leave now, right?” I asked.

Umi-chan nodded, “Yeah. They said once you woke up you could leave.”

“Can I stay at your house for tonight? I really don’t wanna have to explain anything to my family yet.” I quietly asked, afraid she’d say no.

“I guess. I don’t think my parents would mind.” She replied.

“Thanks…” I mumbled, swinging my legs over the bed to the side.

Umi-chan stood up and held out a hand for me. I grabbed it and allowed her to pull me to my feet. We stood there silently for a few moments, just holding hands.

Umi-chan suddenly yanked her hand away and turned around. Her face was bright red. Is this another shameless instance?

“L-lets go.” Umi-chan stammered as she headed to hold the door open for me.

I followed behind her quietly. It was very late after all. I didn’t want to wake anyone up. Umi-chan led the way out of the halls and to the front desk. We signed me out and then started the walk to Umi-chan’s house.

“Umi-chan?” I glanced her way for second.

“Yes?” Umi-chan asked, still focusing on the sidewalk.

“Are those girls gone?” I quietly asked her.

“Yeah. Eli and Nozomi got them expelled.” She replied.

“Did they tell how they knew about me?” I wondered out loud, not really expecting them to.

“No. They wouldn't talk at all when we questioned them. But, they did keep pointing out all these so called facts about you. Whether they are correct, I don't know. And I don't think it would be a good idea to tell you them…” Umi-chan sighed.

“What they said about me getting into this school… it's not exactly wrong. I did end up having a lot of fights about it. And I'm not proud of my methods…” I didn't see any reason to hide it. Umi-chan would find out eventually, I know it.

“Hey, you did what you had to to be happy.” Umi-chan shrugged, not seeming to be bothered by it.

Before long, we arrived at her house. We quietly snuck upstairs and sat on her bed.

“I'll see if I can find something for you to wear.” Umi-chan got up and searched through her drawers.

“You guys know now…” I mumbled after a few seconds of silence.

“Yeah. I know it wasn't under the best circumstances and all. But, no one cares. We'll never use that name.” Umi-chan replied.

“If you were ever at my house, I kinda would want you too… they already give Yukiho hell about it, so I bet they'd be worse to you guys.” I explained, “But, I don't like that name at all…”

“I don't know that we'd call you that even then. So, it might be for the best we don't go to your house while your parents are home.” Umi-chan stated.

“Alright. If that's how it's gonna end up, then I guess it is for the best.” I agreed.

“Do you, uh, like that name? You know, in general.” Umi-chan asked quietly.

I shook my head, “No. I used to, but now whenever I hear it, it just brings back bad memories.”

Umi-chan stood up and handed me some pajamas to wear, “I think these should work.”

“Thanks. Uh, can you look away?” I hesitantly asked.

Umi-chan nodded, “Sure. Tell me when I can turn back.”

I pulled down my skirt and quickly slipped on the pants. I slowly unbuttoned my shirt and took it off. I hesitated. I never told them about my bra…

I wore one and stuffed some padding in it so they looked real as long as you didn't look too closely. I reached behind and started fiddling with the strap, but I couldn't get it off.

“Can you help me?” I asked quietly.

Umi-chan turned around, “With what?”

“I, uh, can't get the clasp off…” I mumbled.

Umi-chan walked around me and started working it off, not questioning it at all. I thought she'd ask why I wore a bra.

“You're really learning everything about me, huh? Now you know how I make my breasts too.” I tried to lighten up my mood more than anything. I wasn't quite comfortable with Umi-chan knowing a lot of my secrets.

“I guess I am. Though, I will admit I didn't even think about that.” Umi-chan chuckled as she unclasped my bra.

I lowered it slowly so the padding, which was mainly some padding from Yukiho’s bras that had fallen out at some point, wouldn't fall out. I quickly threw on the shirt, feeling my dysphoria start to kick in as I stared at my chest.

We sat back on the bed. Umi-chan reached over and turned off the light and turned a small lamp on instead.

“Hey… uh, is there anything you wanna ask me about… this?” I asked, dreading it, but also wanting to help educate her on anything she didn't understand. I know she wants to learn how to help me, so I guess I better teach her how.

Umi-chan thought about it for a while, “How is your voice not deep like guys our age?”

“Hormone blockers. They make it so I won't go through puberty.” I answered.

“How do you transition then? Do you get some medicine or something?” She asked next.

“Well, kinda. Once you turn 16 you can legally take estrogen pills, with your parents’ permission, to help your body develop like a female’s would. Unfortunately, I don't think my parents will ever approve of them. So, I'm stuck until 18 at least. As for, uh, down there, you can get surgery to fix it. Voice, however, that's something you have to train yourself. Nothing can change vocal cords.” I explained, trying to keep it simple.

“Sounds complicated…” Umi-chan muttered.

“Yeah. I bet it is.” I agreed.

“How did you know you were in the wrong body? What gave it away?” Umi-chan hesitated before asking.

“Uh, I think it was when I saw girls who went through puberty. I asked when that would happen to me and I remember being so upset that I wasn't going to do what they did. I guess also liking to play with girls and the so-called girl toys might've been a hint too.” I tried my best to remember.

Umi-chan went quiet for a bit before she spoke again, “Who did you tell first and what happened?”

“I told my mom first. She just laughed and said I'd grow out of that phase soon. When I told her it was like that for a long time, she got pissed.” I replied.

“Honoka, I know this is kinda out of the blue, but, what gender do you like?” Umi-chan stammered out.

“Girls.” I admitted.

“Do you like anyone?” Umi-chan mumbled, her face turning red.

“Uh… not currently. There was someone, but it'll never work out…” I sighed.

“Why not?” Umi-chan questioned.

“She has a boyfriend…” I replied.

“Oh.”

“Why are you asking me that?” I questioned her. She did say she felt it was asked randomly.

“Well… uh, I just, uh…” Umi-chan stammered, her face flushing bright red, “I… _ihaveacrushonyou_!”

“What did you say? You said it too fast.” I whined.

“I… I, uh… I think I might, uh, love you…” Umi-chan stuttered, her face completely red.

“Wait. You have a crush on me?” I was shocked. She likes me that way? That must've been why she was so embarrassed earlier.

Umi-chan nodded, her hands clenched on her knees and her head as low as it could be. She probably thinks I've rejected her and think she's crazy. I think this reaction was similar to when she tried asking someone to a small prom our grade school was hosting.

“I'm sorry if you find it weird… I just… I don't know what to do…” Umi-chan mumbled, still remaining stiffly in her position, “I can't stop my feelings… and they won't hide…”

_Oh, Umi-chan…_

I pulled her into a hug, “I don't think it's weird.”

“B-but…” Umi-chan stopped. She sighed and pulled away.

“Umi-chan?” I asked as she stood up.

“Y-yes?” She replied hesitantly.

“I love you too.” I smiled.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession 1 part 2 and a little bit of angst

Honoka's POV:

“I love you too.” I smiled.

Umi-chan froze, “Y-you… you do?”

I nodded, “Of course I do. You're my best friend and… well, I guess I just never realized the difference in my feelings…”

“I… I…” Umi-chan couldn't seem to form any words.

I stood up and held out my hands. Umi-chan hesitated, before slowly walking into my embrace. We stood there for a few minutes, just hugging each other.

I heard a yawn and looked down to see Umi-chan was starting to fall asleep. I couldn't help but blush at how cute she looked.

“We should probably get some rest.” I whispered, carefully guiding Umi-chan to the bed, not wanting her to fall asleep leaning on me. Umi-chan complied and started crawling into the bed, yawning again. She stretched briefly, before laying down on her side.

She stared up at me sleepily as she scooted to the wall and held out her hands. I've never seen her be this way before. Who knew Umi-chan had a needy side like this?

After turning off the lamp, I laid down next to her. Umi-chan snuggled into my chest. I froze for a moment. Is she that tired that she isn't embarrassed about this?

“Goodnight, Umi-chan.” I whispered softly as I pulled the covers over us.

“Goodnight…” Umi-chan mumbled out, yawning most of it.

“Love you.” I couldn't resist saying it.

Umi-chan didn't reply. When I looked down I saw she was already asleep. She looks so peaceful. But, I know what would happen if I woke her.

I wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer. She let out a small whine, before nuzzling her face into my shirt. I smiled as I rested my head beside hers and drifted off, breathing in her scent that I loved so much.

…

The next morning, I was woken up by Umi-chan shaking me.

“Morning…” I yawned.

“Morning… can you let me go?” Umi-chan mumbled, her face flushing red.

I quickly unwrapped my arm from her, “Sorry.”

“I-it's fine…” Umi-chan mumbled as she sat up.

I sat up as well, “You okay?”

“Uh… yeah…” Umi-chan muttered.

“Shall we get dressed?” I quickly changed the subject.

“Sure.” Umi-chan nodded quickly.

I pouted, “Why won’t you tell me what's wrong? It's obvious you have something on your mind.”

Umi-chan flushed bright red, “Well… uh, you see… uh, I was, uh, wondering if you… if you would, uh… l-like to g-go out w-with me?”

I giggled slightly at how flustered she was, “Sure. I'd love to.”

“R-really?” She seemed surprised.

“Why wouldn't I?” I teased.

Umi-chan hung her head low, “I'm not good enough for you…”

“What? Of course you're good enough for me. Actually, no. You're way out of my league. I should be the one who isn't good enough for you.” I was baffled at her statement.

“I'm afraid I'll mess up. What if I accidentally say something that triggers you? I don't know if I'm ready for this… but I want to be.” Umi-chan sniffled, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes.

I pulled her into a hug, “That's okay. You're not perfect. If you mess up, all I ask is you just move on and pretend it didn't happen. Just correct yourself next time. I can be patient, you know.”

“You won’t be mad if I accidentally mess up?” Umi-chan asked, staring up at me.

“Repeat what you just said.” I asked.

“You won't be mad if I accidentally mess up?” Umi-chan repeated, confusion all over her face.

“Did you hear that? Accidentally. If it's an accident, why on earth would I get mad? If you did it on purpose, then I would get mad.” I explained.

Umi-chan giggled softly as she wrapped her arms around me, “Well then, I guess I get to call you mine.”

I smiled and hugged her back. We stayed like that for a few minutes, before reluctantly letting go.

“You're not gonna be all shameless anymore?” I teased her as we got up to get changed.

“Uh… n-no. It's just something I do. I can't really control it, so…” Umi-chan mumbled, a light blush now coating her face.

I smiled at her. Umi-chan blushed even redder as she stared at me. I giggled as she quickly turned away and grabbed her uniform. I grabbed my own and started the tedious dressing process. It took a lot longer than normal girls would take.

“Well, ready for school?” Umi-chan asked after I had finished, “We can grab something to eat at a café.”

I nodded, “Yeah. Let's go.”

We headed outside and started the walk to school. We stopped at the café and grabbed a quick bite before heading off again. We met halfway with Kotori-chan.

“Good morning! How are you guys?” Kotori-chan asked.

“Fine. How are you?” Umi-chan replied.

Kotori-chan smiled, “I'm good.”

The three of us set off to get to school. We arrived at almost our normal time. We quickly headed to the clubroom to find everyone was there.

“Morning.” Everyone greeted us as we entered and sat down.

Within a few minutes, everyone had started discussing what we were going to do today. I stared at the table, not feeling ready to talk. I'm just waiting for someone to ask.

“...you think, Honoka?”

“Huh?” I quickly snapped out my daze to realize everyone was staring at me.

Everyone sighed, “Were you even listening?”

“Maybe not?” I mumbled, giving a lopsided smile.

“Do you think we should do an old song or a new song for the open house? You're the only one who hasn't voted.” Umi-chan asked me.

“When is it again?” I asked quietly.

“A week away. We've discussed this almost every day, and you still forgot?”

“Sorry. Uh, I think we should do an old song.” I replied.

“What song should we do?” Hanayo-chan asked.

“Why don't we vote on three? As for what the three songs are, that has to be decided.” Eli-chan suggested.

“I think that could work. Any suggestions?” Umi-chan agreed.

“Uh… what about _Start: Dash_?”

“But we already performed that in school. We should do one we haven't done in school.”

“Okay, how about _Natsuiro Egao de 1,2 Jump_?”

“I guess that one can work.”

Nico-chan let out a small gasp and looked offended, “You guess?”

“Yes. I guess it will work.” Umi-chan repeated, glaring down at her.

Nico-chan didn't reply back. She sunk into her seat.

“ _Snow Halation_?”

“It's not winter. No.”

“Aw…”

“ _Heart to Heart_?”

“That's a good one!”

“How about _Moment Ring_ as the third choice?”

“Alright. After school we can vote. Let's take some time to decide.” Umi-chan stated.

“Okay.” Everyone responded.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The antagonists are causing more drama and Kotori seems to having an issue

Honoka's POV:

Most of the morning was uneventful. It seemed as though only those two girls knew about me. Or, if anyone else did know, they weren't doing anything about it. I hope no one else knows. The last thing I want is to have to deal with harassment for the rest of the school year.

As lunch drew near, things started to change. And they changed fast. Too fast.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll catch up." I told Umi-chan and Kotori-chan.

"Alright. Don't be too long."

"I won't." I promised before walking away.

I walked into the bathroom. Much to my relief, it was empty. I hurried into a stall and did my business. As I was getting ready to leave, someone walked in. She stared at me for a few seconds, before a scowl appeared on her face.

"Why are you in here?" She asked accusingly.

"Uh, I was using the bathroom. What else would I be doing?" I answered quietly.

I don't like where this is going. She seems pretty mad at me. Does she know? I hope she doesn't.

"You don't belong in here." She growled, approaching me in a threatening manner.

"Huh?" I tried to act like I didn't understand what she was talking about. Maybe she isn't saying that because of what I am. Maybe there is something else.

"This is the _girls_ bathroom. _Boys_ don't belong in here." She stated, getting in my face.

I backed away, only to hit a wall a few steps in. She does know. What do I do? She's blocking the exit.

"How did you find out?" I asked. I need to know that.

"Oh, those girls posted it on their social media accounts. All their friends know about you now." The girl smirked.

"If you don't want me in here, then let me leave." I tried to convince her, knowing she probably didn't want to.

"Nope. I know you'll come back. So, I'm gonna teach you a lesson so you never want to show your face here again." She growled before grabbing me by my shirt.

I thrashed around, trying to loosen her grip. She seemed to grow angrier by the second as she slammed me against the wall. I let out a startled cry as I fell to the ground. I looked at her. She seemed pleased with her actions.

I watched her warily. She wouldn't just let me go after that. She'd want to do more, I know it.

She grabbed me and harshly pulled me to my feet. She clenched her fists tightly against her sides. My eyes darted all around, trying to see if there was any way to escape. There was a very little chance someone would come in and stop this. I had to save myself from this.

I wasn't watching her as closely as I should have been. She started punching me as hard as possible. I clenched my teeth together to stop myself from crying out in pain. I just have to endure it. Hopefully she will leave me alone soon. And hopefully I'm not dead by then.

"I wish I could kill you. But, I don't fancy going to jail." The girl sneered as she stopped her attacking to catch her breath.

I curled into the wall, trying to shield myself slightly. I don't know if she has finished yet. And I don't know how severe any more attacks will be.

"Weak. I expected more from you." The girl kicked me twice before leaving.

I slowly got to my feet, wincing in pain as I did. I stumbled over to the sinks. I had to grip them tightly to stop myself from falling over. I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

I had bruises all over my face from her. My eye was swelling and my nose was bleeding slightly. I gulped as I kept staring. I look terrible.

I can't let them see me like this. I don't want them to worry about me more than they already are. But, how could I hide something like this?

I slowly tried walking without support. After a few minutes, I was able to get my footing back without sliding my feet as my walking method. I started heading down the hallway to the nurse's office. I should probably get these looked at anyway. It should also offer me a place to chill so that they don't find out what just happened.

The nurse wasn't there, unfortunately. I grabbed the small kit she left out for anyone who needed something when she wasn't around. I took out some cream and applied it to my bruises to ease the pain. I grabbed an ice bag from the freezer and placed it over my eye. My nose had stopped bleeding, so I just wiped away the blood.

I stayed there until the end of the period. After the bell rang, I was debating what I should do. The swelling had gone down and the bruises weren't as noticeable. But, they'd see them. They'd look me over until they did.

I decided instead to just hang out and wait for the day to end. Or if the nurse came back I might lie and say I didn't feel good. Then I could go and just wander around until school ended. I can't bring myself to face them. What if they think I'm a coward for not being able to fight back?

I laid down on one of the beds and tried to relax. I wasn't too keen on sleeping incase that girl came back for round two. Or if they decided to check in here for me, I needed to be able to pretend I was sick.

But, would they believe me? I seemed fine this morning. But, sometimes you do just suddenly get really sick without warning. I think I could fool them. But, I don't want to have to. I hate having to lie to them. But, I just can't bring myself to let them help me. I don't want to open up and let them see how weak I am...

...

_"You're such a wimp! All you did was hit your foot on a rock. Why the hell are you crying like you just got your arm chopped off!" A kid I hung out with taunted._

_"Yeah, you're so weak! I bet I could pinch you and you'd have the same reaction!" Another kid butted in._

_Two more of their friends joined in surrounding me. They taunted me for crying. But, it hurt. My foot really hurt from that rock._

_One of the kids kicked the rock like I had, "That didn't even hurt! You're a little cry baby!"_

_"Cry baby! Weakling!" The others joined in._

...

I hadn't realized I had started crying as I recalled that event. I stuffed my head into the pillow and tried to calm down. I don't want anyone to see me crying. I kept crying until I ran out of tears.

I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew was I was being shaken awake quite frantically. I groggily opened my eyes, only to wince in pain as I tried my swollen eye. I kept it closed and hesitantly looked up to see who was shaking me.

"Are you okay? What happened?" It was Umi-chan.

I didn't even have time to answer, not that I wanted too. Her eyes widened and she let out a tiny gasp. I guess my bruises weren't healed enough.

"What happened?" Umi-chan repeated as she ran a hand across one of the bruises on my face.

"I... I don't wanna talk about it..." I mumbled, before quickly adding, "I need a few minutes..."

"Alright. Do you need anything? They look painful." Umi-chan asked.

"Ice..." I whispered.

She didn't know how bad my eye was yet - I don't even know myself. It was still covered by the pillow. Umi-chan nodded and got me some ice.

"What time is it?" I asked her.

"School just ended." She replied, walking back over with a bag of ice.

I hesitated, before slowly sitting up and letting her see the rest of the bruises. I couldn't meet her eyes as I took the ice from her and placed it over my eye. Umi-chan sat next to me, looking extremely concerned.

"Those girls... they told their friends about me..." I whispered, not wanting to go into detail on the attack.

Umi-chan wrapped an arm around me, "How?"

"Online. They posted about me..." I mumbled, relaxing into her side.

"I guess we'll have to look into that then." She sighed, "You sure you're alright?"

I removed the ice from my eye, "How bad is it?"

"It's pretty swollen..." Umi-chan admitted.

I put the ice back on my eye and snuggled closer to her. Despite the nap I took, I was still exhausted. Umi-chan pushed some hair out of my face and placed a small kiss on my head. I smiled as I closed my eyes and focused on her heartbeat. It was calming.

"You can rest. I'll let everyone know something came up." Umi-chan told me.

I nodded and let myself drift back off to sleep. It didn't take much time until I was fast asleep again.

...

I woke some time later to hear voices around me. It didn't take much time for me to realize they belonged to my friends. I was still snuggled into Umi-chan's side.

"I can't believe them. What gives them the right to do that?"

"I know. She has some nerve coming in here like that."

I wonder what they're talking about. Did that girl come in here trying to find me again? That's what it sounds like.

"If what she said is true, there won't be a lot we can do..."

"It sucks when we're helpless..."

I decided it was time to let them know I was awake. Maybe they'd tell me what happened. Or they might keep it a secret because it's really bad.

"Well, let's not worry about that right now."

"What's everyone talking about?" I mumbled slowly opening my good eye. The other eye still stung.

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing." Umi-chan told me.

I know she's lying, but I'll confront her later if I need to. I pushed myself into a sitting position and leaned against the backboard of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Kotori-chan asked as she sat on the other side of me.

"I'm okay... my eye still hurts but that's it..." I mumbled out quietly.

"Could you check her out, Maki? You know about this stuff." Eli-chan prodded her over toward me.

"Fine..." Maki-chan sighed as she made her way over to me.

She didn't do much other than just ask me a few questions. She decided it would just take day to stop swelling and then it would be okay.

Nico-chan was the first to break the silence that had fallen over the room, "So, what should we do now?"

"What is there to do?"

"Let's go to the park, nya!" Rin-chan said excitedly.

Hanayo-chan nodded in agreement, "That sounds like a good idea!"

"Well, why don't we all get changed and then we can go?" Eli-chan suggested.

Everyone nodded at that suggestion and started going to get changed. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan hadn't left yet.

"Can you stand?" Kotori-chan asked me.

I nodded and slowly got myself off of the bed. My body ached a little, but it wasn't anything to be concerned about.

"Well, let's go and get changed," Umi-chan stated as she grabbed my hand.

I nodded and the three of us left to go to grab our clothes. Afterwards, we all joined the others in changing. I was a little self-conscious about changing in front of all of them. But, it seemed like everyone knew that already. No one faced me as I changed. I was very grateful.

We all started walking to the park after that. I ended up slightly leaning onto Umi-chan for some support. She didn't seem to mind, though.

We made some small talk as we walked. Apparently they had voted on the song already. It was decided we would sing _Moment Ring_ for the show. Everyone seems to avoid discussing anything passed that about the show. I wonder why? Maybe I can ask Umi-chan later.

Oh, wait. I still need to tell them about that... I don't think I'm welcome home anymore. Especially if I'm dating Umi-chan. They won't like that since it's obvious she sees me as a girl. If I was seen as a boy, they would be fine with it. Sometimes I don't understand them.

...

As we reached the park, I started getting a bit anxious. What if someone recognizes me? What if those girls' friends are here?

Thankfully, the park was mostly empty. Everyone split up and did their own thing. I decided to take it easy and just sit on a bench. The walk had tired me out quite a lot.

Umi-chan joined me on the bench after a few minutes, "Aren't you going to do anything?"

"I don't feel like it..." I mumbled.

We sat in silence for a bit, just watching the others have fun. I wish I could be as carefree as they are. They don't have to worry about being killed just for being who you are. I may be jealous, but I'd never wish this fate upon them.

"Hey. Mind if I join?" Kotori-chan came over to us.

"Not at all," Umi-chan replied.

Kotori-chan sat on the other side of me, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine..." I mumbled.

"That's good." Kotori-chan smiled, "Also, you two seem closer than normal. What's up with that?"

"Oh... uh, we..." Umi-chan seemed taken back by the remark, "We just uh..."

"We're dating." I butted in, knowing it was hopeless for her to admit it.

"D-dating?" Kotori-chan seemed a bit disappointed, "Oh, I see now."

She got up and left us alone, not saying a word. Umi-chan and I shared confused looks. Why did she just leave suddenly? Is she not happy that we're dating?

"What do you think is up with her?" I asked Umi-chan.

Umi-chan shrugged, "I really don't know."

I stood up, "I'm going to ask her."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Umi-chan questioned.

"Maybe? I'm doing it anyway." I stated and went off to find Kotori-chan.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding out why Kotori is acting weird

Honoka's POV:

I walked over to where Kotori-chan had vanished from sight. As I got farther from the park, I heard something. I couldn't quite make out what it was though.

As I got closer to the noise, I realized it was Kotori-chan whispering something. I saw her sitting against a tree, dragging her fingers across the ground.

“Kotori-chan?” I said quietly, not sure exactly how to approach her.

She slowly lifted her head up and looked at me, “Did you follow me?”

“Kinda…” I admitted as I settled down beside her.

Kotori-chan let out a sigh and went back to tracing the dirt. I remained quiet, not sure how to ask what happened.

“Honoka-chan?” Kotori-chan whispered after a few minutes of silence.

I looked at her, “Yeah?”

“I'm fine with you guys dating. I'm sorry if I seemed upset about it.” She mumbled.

“Then, why did you leave like that?” I tried to not be to prying, but now I'm just more confused.

Kotori-chan sighed, “I… I guess I was just… jealous.”

“Huh?” I was even more confused. She was jealous of us?

“I… I like you a lot… and I also like Umi-chan a lot… I just felt that you'd guys leave me out now…” Kotori-chan tried to explain.

“So, you have a crush on both of us?” I asked.

Kotori-chan nodded, “Y-yeah…”

“Kotori, I feel you aren't telling the entire truth.” Umi-chan cut in.

We both looked up and saw her standing a little farther back. Kotori-chan dropped her head and stared at the ground as Umi-chan came to sit in front of us.

Kotori-chan refused to look up at either of us. Umi-chan and I looked at each other. I shrugged, not knowing what to do.

“You can tell us what the problem is, I promise.” Umi-chan tried to reason with her.

Kotori-chan still didn't answer. She kept her head down. Umi-chan sighed.

“Why won't you tell us?” She asked.

“I… I can't… you wouldn't understand…” Kotori-chan mumbled.

“Please?” I stepped in and tried to help.

“I… I…” Kotori-chan gulped, “I just… I feel left out… I love you both… but, now you guys have each other…”

“So, you wanted to date one of us?” Umi-chan asked.

Kotori-chan nodded, “Yeah…”

“Then why don't we all date each other?” I suggested pulling the two of them into a hug.

Umi-chan went bright red, “WHAT?!”

“Why don't all three of us date? Is there something wrong with that?” I repeated.

“N-no… But are you sure? It's not exactly approved…” Umi-chan stammered.

“I'm sure.” I confirmed.

Umi-chan sighed, “Alright then… do you want that, Kotori?”

Kotori-chan smiled and nodded, “Yes. I'd really like that.”

“Then, I guess we're all dating.” Umi-chan stated, trying to keep a straight face, but a small smile slowly formed on her lips as she finished talking.

…

We had gone back after that to see everyone else. It was starting to get dark and everyone was slowly leaving one by one. Umi-chan was getting her stuff packed up, meaning she would be leaving soon.

“U-Umi-chan?” I grabbed onto her arm.

She turned and looked at me, “Yes?”

“C-could I stay with you again?” I asked her quietly.

“Why?” She questioned.

“I… I can't face them… they'll ask me about what's gone on and when they find out… they'll definitely blame me for it all! Please! Please don't make me go back!” I begged her, tears slowly starting to fall out of my eyes.

“I'm sorry, but you can't stay over. We're having a guest.” Umi-chan apologized.

“B-But…” I clung onto her tightly.

“Is everything okay?” Kotori-chan asked.

“No… Honoka doesn't want to go back to her house.” Umi-chan replied.

“I can't go back! They'll use everything against me!” I stated.

“What are you talking about?” Kotori-chan asked.

“If they find out what has happened to me, I'll be the one to get blamed… and they might use it as an excuse to try and make me be what they want me to be… it wouldn't be the first time either…” I mumbled, still clinging onto Umi-chan's arm.

“I can't have you over. I told you. The guest will be sharing my room. You can't stay.” Umi-chan tried to remove her arm from my grip.

“You can stay with me for tonight, Honoka-chan. I'm sure my mom won't mind.” Kotori-chan replied.

“Really!?” I finally let go of Umi-chan and hugged Kotori-chan instead.

Kotori-chan nodded, “Yep.”

“Thank you so much!” I didn't want to let go of her.

“I have to go. See you tomorrow,” Umi-chan said after a minute.

I finally let go of Kotori-chan and faced Umi-chan. All three of us said our farewells and she left. Not long after, me and Kotori-chan left.

As we walked, neither of us really spoke. It was a little awkward.

“Kotori-chan?” I whispered.

“Yeah?” She grabbed my hand.

I gripped it back, “Do you think I should go home again?”

“If you don't feel safe, I wouldn't.” Kotori-chan replied, “Though I do worry that they'll report you as running away…”

“What do you think would happen if they did?” I hesitantly asked her.

“Well, you'd have to go back home once they found you. And I guess they might restrict where you could go.”

I sighed, “I don't think they'll do that, thankfully. They probably are happier now that I'm not there…”

We reached Kotori-chan’s house before she could answer. We walked inside.

“I'll be back. I'm going to tell mom what's going on. You can go to my room.” Kotori-chan said as she walked into another room.

I quietly walked to her room and set down my bag. I sat on her bed and waited. After a few minutes, she came in.

“She said you can stay as long as you need to.” Kotori-chan told me, sitting down next to me.

“R-really?” I was surprised.

“Yep. You can stay with us until you're ready to go back.” She confirmed.

I smiled and hugged her, “Thank you…”

“It's nothing.” Kotori-chan replied as she pulled me closer to her.

We stayed like that for a bit. We only let go when her mom called from the other side of the door.

“Girls, dinner is ready.” She called, before leaving.

We pulled away and went down to eat.

…

After dinner, we hung out in her room. We played random games and read some books together. Before we knew it, it was time for bed.

“Where am I staying?” I asked.

Kotori-chan shrugged, “Wherever you want.”

“Can I stay here with you?” I mumbled.

She nodded, “Sure.”

After we changed, with me borrowing some clothes, we laid down on her bed together. We stayed there in silence for a while.

“Goodnight.” Kotori-chan said as she pulled up the covers.

“Goodnight,” I replied.

We faced each other as we went to bed. I felt Kotori-chan grab my hand. I peaked at her to see her holding it tightly as she slept.

I smiled and moved a little closer. I closed my eyes again and joined her in sleeping.

 


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honors having a nice relaxing day with her girlfriends while worrying about something

Honoka's POV:

I woke up the next morning as Kotori-chan tried to climb over me. I opened my eyes and rubbed them.

“Did I wake you?” Kotori-chan asked as she made it off the bed.

“Yeah,” I replied as I sat up.

“Sorry about that.” Kotori-chan apologized.

I shrugged, “It's fine…”

“Okay. Do you wanna get a shower?” She asked me.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

Kotori-chan went over to her dresser and picked out an outfit for me, “You can wear this for today if you want.”

“It’s fine.” I accepted them.

I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I grabbed two towels out of the closet and set them near the shower. I really hate showers. There’s nothing I can do to really stop myself from looking down and… I guess just being disappointed.

I slowly undressed myself and got in the shower. I tried to be as fast as I could. I don't want to stay naked for long.

After about 10 minutes, I was satisfied and got out. I dried off as fast as I could and dressed in the clothes I had been given.

I left the bathroom and went to the kitchen to see if Kotori-chan was there. She was there helping her mom make breakfast.

“Good morning, Honoka. Sleep well?” Her mom noticed me first.

I nodded, “Yes. Thank you for letting me stay.”

She gave me a reassuring smile, “I'm glad to help.”

…

We ate breakfast together before we were left alone as Kotori-chan’s mom had to leave. We sat in the living room and watched TV for a bit.

“Hey, Honoka-chan? Do you wanna go walk around town?” Kotori-chan asked me.

I shrugged, “Sure.”

“Well, shall we go?”

“Yeah.”

We turned off the TV and got up. We went and started getting ready.

“Do you mind if I invite Umi-chan along?” Kotori-chan asked after a few minutes.

“Not at all.” I replied.

Could this perhaps be a date? If it isn’t starting as one, maybe I could see if we could make it into one. I’d really like that. It'd definitely be nice to have some fun.

“Hey, uh, what exactly do you think we should do? There is a fair in town today.”  Kotori-chan asked as she texted Umi-chan.

“Uh… why don’t we just walk around? If we see something to do, we can do it then.” I responded, unable to really think of anything to do.

Well, there are some things, but I don't want to bother them. I know it's stuff that they don't like to do.

“She said she'll meet us there. You ready?” Kotori-chan asked me as she put her phone into her bag.

I nodded, “Yeah.”

We headed out the door and started walking down the street. It wasn't very busy out today, so we could walk side-by-side.

“So… anything to talk about while we walk?” Kotori-chan asked me after we had been in silence for a minute or so.

“Um, is there a reason no one is talking about our performance?” I hesitated for a moment before I asked.

She didn't reply right away, “Well, that's something I'm not supposed to talk about…”

“Why?” I whined.

Before I could get an answer, Umi-chan showed up, “Hey. How's it going?”

“Good. How is it for you?”

“Alright. It was horrible…” Umi-chan sighed.

…

We arrived downtown and started browsing some shops. We were just goofing off and having fun. It was nice to get to do something like this.

“Hey, look at this.” I said, holding a bracelet up.

It was a dark red bracelet with small spots of white littered on the beads.

“That's cool.” Kotori-chan replied.

Umi-chan nodded, “Yeah. It's pretty.”

“Ooh, this one looks cool too.” Kotori-chan picked up a cyan colored bracelet.

We spent a few minutes looking at the bracelets and other jewelry before we moved to a new location. We weren't planning to buy anything while we were here. It was more of a day to just have fun.

We were talking quietly as we walked around the town. It was really fun to get to tell each other stories. But, the joy was short lived. One of those girls showed up and interrupted us.

“What do you want?” Umi-chan asked, staring her down.

“Oh, nothing. I just was enjoying my day, until you showed up.” She grumbled, huffing.

“Then walk away.” Umi-chan growled back.

“Why should I?” She challenged.

“Because you don't have a reason to be here. Get lost.” Umi-chan stated, before motioning for us to leave.

As the three of us walked away, she called out to us, “I’ll see you tomorrow! I hope you like our surprise!”

“What is she talking about?” I asked.

“I don't know.” Umi-chan shrugged.

…

It was late when we got home. The three of us decided to have a sleepover. We were hanging out in Kotori-chan's living room watching movies. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan were in the kitchen making something. I could somewhat hear their conversation.

“So… ready for tomorrow?”

“I guess.”

“You worried?”

“Of course. If what she said is really what will happen…” I couldn't hear the rest of what she said.

They got too quiet for me to make out the words. I sighed and sat back in the couch. What the hell is happening? Is there something going on I don't know about? If there is, why can't I know?

I don't like them being so secretive. I feel like they don't trust me.

“Hey, we're back.” I was broken out of my thoughts as they came back into the room with some popcorn and tea.

We spent most of the night watching movies, before deciding it was best to get some sleep. We stayed out in the living room and shared two mats. I slept in the middle of them.

As I was drifting off, my mind started to swirl with worries again. I really can't figure out what is going to happen. I'm pretty sure that it's going to happen at our live. But, I don't know what it is.


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What have μ's been hiding from her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self-harm and suicide attempt
> 
> Read at your own risk and stay safe

Honoka's POV:

I woke up last the next morning. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan were nowhere to be seen. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and yawning. After a quick stretch, I stood up and went to go track them down.

They were in the kitchen talking as Mrs. Minami made some breakfast for us. I took a seat beside Umi-chan.

“Good morning, Honoka,” She greeted me.

“Morning…” I replied, yawning a bit.

Kotori-chan laughed slight, “Still tired?”

“A little.” I mumbled, a light blush starting to coat my face.

…

After eating, we got changed for school. Mrs. Minami offered to drive us, but we declined. We set off walking to school.

“So, today…” I was trying to see if they’d tell me what was going to happen.

“Yep. You ready?” Kotori-chan nodded.

“I guess…” I replied.

Umi-chan glanced over at me, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just nervous, I guess…” I lied.

Well, it was kinda true. I am nervous. But, it’s because they won’t tell me what is going on. I know that something will happen. There’s no way they would be talking about it so secretively if there wasn’t.

“It feels different, doesn't it.”

We turned around to see Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan.

“When did you get here?” Kotori-chan asked.

“We took a detour and saw you three.” Eli-chan explained.

“Okay.”

All five of us walked together.

“What did you mean by it feels different?” I asked Nozomi-chan.

“The atmosphere seems... strange. A bit heavy if I'd have to describe it.” Nozomi-chan told me.

“Oh… I guess it does…” I agreed, “Is there a reason why it might feel like this?”

Nozomi-chan shrugged, “There are many reasons it could feel like this.”

“Okay,” I didn't let my disappointment show.

I was hoping she might tell me. But, no one will. Or is it because someone told them not to tell me?

We reached the school gates and went to the clubroom. Everyone else was already there. We sat down and passed some time until we had to get ready.

…

We were all changing in the small changing room behind the auditorium. My heart was pounding and I felt a bit lightheaded. I was really scared.

“Hey, you alright?” Umi-chan came over to me.

“I'm fine.” I replied a little harshly.

It was obvious she didn't believe me, “What's wrong?”

“Nothing. I'm fine.” I stated, before walking away.

Umi-chan chased after me. I took a deep breath and turned back to face her.

“You're acting strange. What's going on?” She asked me.

“I'm fine. Leave it.” I stated and left the room.

I went backstage where everyone else was hanging out. They were sitting on the floor and talking. I joined them and just hoped Umi-chan would leave me alone. And also that no one else would say anything.

How would I even tell them what's wrong. Just admit I know they're hiding something about this show? They'd still cover it up. They wouldn't let me know.

“It's time.” Eli-chan announced.

We all got up and got ready to go on the stage. I felt someone grab my hand. I turned my head to see Umi-chan was beside me.

“It'll be alright.” She whispered.

That didn't help at all. That just made my nerves worse. She basically just admitted that something was wrong.

“You ready?” Kotori-chan came over to us.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Kotori-chan gave me a small kiss on my cheek. Before I could say anything, the lights dimmed behind the curtains, signaling it was time to go out.

“Let's do this!”

…

The show went well. After we finished singing we bowed and filed back behind stage. Everyone was talking about how well it went.

Was I wrong? Was nothing going to happen?

I knew it was too good to be true. We went silent as we heard footsteps walking on the stage.

“Everyone, I have a little announcement to make.” There was no denying who that voice belonged to.

I didn't stick around to find out what she was going to tell them. I had no wish to hear anything she said to them. It wouldn't be anything new anyway. It would probably be the same stuff she's been telling her friends to tell everyone at school.

“You knew! You knew and you didn't tell me! I hate you guys!” I yelled at the rest of μ's before I dashed off to hide, them barely having the chance to speak to me.

I hid inside a storage closet. They wouldn't look for me here. I cried quietly as words started shouting in my mind, trying to show me what she was telling them. I did my best to block them out, but it wasn't working.

_“That leader, they're not a girl. They're a boy pretending to be a girl.”_

_“He is a sick pervert trying to hit on your children.”_

_“Don't send your kids to this school without stating he be removed first.”_

From a distance, I heard μ's calling for me. I didn't reply. I don't want them near me. I can't believe them. They knew about this! They knew what she was going to do and yet they said nothing! I hate them!

But why would they keep it a secret? Why wouldn't they tell me and say we were canceling our performance? It just hurt me more this way.

_They don't care about you… they only were your friend after you came out because they pitied you._

I glanced around the closet, looking for something sharp. I needed something to take my mind away from this. My eyes landed on a bucket labeled “Broken Glass”. I smiled as I picked up a decently sized shard.

I took a deep breath and slashed it across my arm. It felt weird. I wanted to cry out in pain from the stinging, but yet it also felt good. It made my mind shut up. I did it a few more time until blood was running down my arms and all over me and the floor.

I tossed the glass aside and got up. They'd hopefully be gone by now. I exited the room and walked out into the silent hall. I made my way back to the backstage.

I grabbed a rag we had placed to wipe sweat off after we finished. I pressed it to my arm to try and stop the bleeding from getting out of hand. I removed it and was relieve that it was just a small trickle now.

I set it down and went to change out of my outfit, which was stained in my blood. I threw on my own clothes and left the room. I debated on what to do. I can't go to my house and I don't want to see any of them right now.

I made a split second decision to go to the roof. As I climbed the steps, my mind started talking again. I did my best to ignore it like before, but it seemed even more determined this time.

I reached the top and opened the door. It was silent. I walked over to the railing and glanced down. No one was around. Good. I don't want to see anyone right now.

I sat down and tried to shut my mind up. But, it refused to listen to me.

_Everyone knows…_

_They never liked you, they are probably glad she told everyone about you._

_No one cares for you…_

_Just die. No one will miss you…_

That last thought rung in my head. Would no one really miss me? Maybe it's right. Maybe no one does like me.

I stood up and glanced back at the ground below. No one was there still. I took a deep breath. Was I really considering this?

_Just do it already! The more you wait, the more chance someone will stop you!_

They were right. What if μ's came back to see if I was still here? They'd never let me do this… and if they found out I considered it, they'd never let me be alone again.

I took of my shoes and set them beside me. If I want this to stop, this is the only way. Nothing else has worked. I want this to end now!

I climbed over the railing and got ready to fall. I wonder if it'll hurt? Would I not die from this height? No. It's really high up. I'll die.

_Coward. Can't even do it without thinking it over!_

I gulped and braced myself. I can't keep thinking about it. I'll talk myself out of it. I have to do it now.

I took a final deep breath and then let go of the railing, letting my body slip off the side and down to the ground. I barely registered what was happening, except for a split second of pain and a loud snap, before everything went black.


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honoka isn’t dead, but has suffered some severe damage

Honoka’s POV:

_Beep Beep_

What? Is that a monitor? Am I alive?

I tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn't move. The beeping sped up drastically. I heard muffled voices in the room. I couldn't make out what they were saying. I felt something prick my shoulder and then everything slowly faded away again.

…

_Beep Beep_

I'm alive… I really am alive…

I don't want to be alive…

I can't believe it. I failed. And now what's gonna happen? Are they gonna throw me in some psychiatric center because of this? What are my parents gonna do?

Why couldn't I have died? Why!?

After I forced myself to calm down, I tried to open my eyes. This time, I got them open. Everything was blurry, so I blinked until I could see. I felt awful. My body felt like it was on fire. I tried to move my fingers, but I couldn't get them to do anything. I tried my toes, but they didn't respond either.

Is it just because I've been out for God knows how long? Or did I paralyze myself from that fall? I hope I didn't.

I couldn't move anything but my eyelids. Even my lips wouldn't move. What did I do to myself? I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I couldn't do much in this condition. I couldn't even call for someone.

…

When I woke again, there wasn't any beeping. I felt a little better than before. I opened my eyes just enough to see, but hopefully not enough for anyone to notice. After I checked to see if anyone was in the room, I opened them completely. I was in a different room now.

I tried moving my body like before. This time, they responded. Thank God I'm not paralyzed. I turned my head to the side and looked around the room. It was a standard room. The thing that caught my eye was the machines I was attached to. I couldn't tell you how many wires I saw coming out of it.

I didn't dare try sitting up. Who knew how much pain that could cause. I scanned the other side of the room. I saw nothing of interest. Why did they move me here?

I heard a door open and quickly shut my eyes. I don't know who it is. I don't want it to be μ's.

“Take his vitals.” A deep, rough voice ordered.

His? Are they talking about me? I guess so, I didn't see anyone else in this room.

I felt a little pain in my arm. I remained still, I need to know more and I don't want them to know I'm awake yet.

“Stable.” A higher, but still rough voice mumbled.

“Let's go then. No reason to stick around if he’s still in a coma.”

I heard them exit the room shortly after. Coma? How long have I been out for? I woke up multiple times, but I guess I didn't wake for days or weeks between them. I opened my eyes again. I was afraid to try and sleep now. What if one of these times, I don't wake up?

_Don't you want that? I thought you wanted to die._

The voice was back. And right as always. I had wanted to die. But, now I don't want to. Not until I know what happened. I guess I'm stubborn.

The door opened again, so I quickly shut my eyes. Why am I hiding? Wouldn't it be better if they knew I was awake?

“She's still…”

“Yeah...”

“Why won't she wake up?”

“Rin, you need to be patient. She's been through a lot.”

Oh no… it's them. But, this is my chance to know. They'd tell me, right?

_Like how they told you about that girl?_

I couldn't think of how to respond. What if they were right? Would they tell me?

“It's been a month… what if they give up? Her parents said the moment they lose hope to just pull the plug!”

My parents… they want me to die…

I wanted to cry, but I needed to remain still. I don't want them to know I'm awake.

“She'll wake up.”

“And how can you be so sure!?”

“Guys, stop fighting!”

As they continued to talk, everything started getting quiet again. Am I going back into my coma? But, this feels different. My heart is pounding. And my body is going numb. What's going on?

“Guys, if we can't stop fighting then it's time to go.”

“Fine…”

That was the last thing I heard. I felt my heart slow to the point I couldn't hear it. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't keep them open for long. My breath was becoming shallow.

What's happening to me? Am I… am I dying?

At that thought, I would have assumed my heart would've started pounding again, but instead I didn't feel anything. What if it's stopping? What if I really am dying?

Tears formed in my eyes. Not like this. Please, I don't wanna die like this…

I heard a monitor kick on and make the sound I never wanted to hear. There was no mistaking that my heart had almost stopped. The sound was almost what it would be if it had.

“Code Red! Get the defilibrator! We're losing him!” I heard a doctor shout, and then everything went silent.

…

_Beep Beep_

I woke again to the same steady beeping I hadn't missed. Why am I back in a room like this? What happened?

I couldn't really recall much of my stay at the hospital anymore. I just remember I felt like I was dying.

I heard talking beside me. It was them again.

“Guys, I have bad news…”

“What?!”

“They said if she doesn't wake up by tonight, they're going to remove her from life support.”

“B-But…”

“It's been a month and a half! It's been too long for them…”

I… I have to let them know. I don't want to die like that. I waited for a few minutes, unsure how I should do this. I don't know how long it'll be before someone else comes in. And if I end up back in a coma…

I slowly opened my eyes. The talking stopped. Well, no going back now. I glanced around until I found where they were.

“H-Honoka?” Umi-chan stammered out.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, “Hey…”

Before anyone else had the chance to speak, Umi-chan wrapped me into a hug. I could feel tears falling down her face. When I looked at everyone else, I saw they were all crying too.

“I'm so glad you're okay… Y-you gave us all such a scare… I thought you were dead…” Umi-chan sobbed out.

I hugged her back, tears forming in my eyes, “I'm sorry…”

My voice was so hoarse and quiet, I didn't even know if she heard me. And it was low… I'm assuming I haven't been able to have my blockers. That means… I'm slowly going to have my voice drop… Please no. Hopefully they'll give me them again.

I buried my face into Umi-chan’s shirt and cried quietly. I don't want her to be more upset. I don't want them to cry because of me.

“W-what happened? How long has it been?” I asked as she slowly released her grip on me.

“It's been almost two months. You've been in a coma.” Maki-chan explained, “And… you died. But they managed to bring you back. You had severe internal bleeding, but it's fixed now.”

“What happened to you? How'd you end up like this?” Kotori-chan asked.

“Huh?” I was confused.

“How'd you end up outside of the school with your arms cut open and your spine almost snapped?”

“W-wait, you don't know?” They didn't realize I had tried to kill myself?

“Was it that girl? I knew we shouldn't have left…” Umi-chan pulled me close to her again, a bit a menace in her voice.

“N-no…” I mumbled.

I can't lie. If they found out, I'd be in big trouble.

“Then, who did it?” They were all looking at me with gazes just as confused as I was.

I looked away. I couldn't bear to see their reactions. Tears started falling down my face again.

“I… I…” I stumbled over my words, “I… I tried to kill myself…”

It was so quiet in the room. It was a bit scary. I felt someone sit next to me. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to see them.

“Honoka…”

Umi-chan pulled me closer to her. I opened my eyes and looked at everyone. They looked sad.

_They're disappointed in you…_

I pulled away from Umi-chan. I refused to make any contact. She tried to hug me again. I shoved her away.

“Honoka-chan? What's wrong?” Kotori-chan asked.

“Leave me alone…” I mumbled.

“No. Tell us what's wrong.” Umi-chan stated, “You aren't getting away with avoiding this anymore.”

“Umi, leave it,” Maki-chan warned.

“Why? She never tells us when something is wrong!” Umi-chan yelled at her.

I scooted away from her and over to Kotori-chan. She wrapped her arms around me loosely.

“She won't talk with everyone here. One person should do it. And it is definitely not you.” Maki-chan shot back.

Umi-chan looked over at me. Her gaze softened as she met my eyes.

“I'm sorry, Honoka. I shouldn't have raised my voice at you.” She apologized, “Who will you talk to?”

I thought it over. Who would be the best to talk to? I had no choice but to do it. Umi-chan isn't allowed, so I can't do her.

“C-could Kotori-chan stay?” I made my decision.

“Sure. We'll give you some space.” The rest of the left the room.

We sat in silence for a little. I wasn't sure what they wanted me to say.

“Honoka-chan, uh… we're really sorry about what happened. None of us thought she'd actually do it.” Kotori-chan apologized.

_None of them are really sorry. They just want you to forgive them so they can hurt you more._

“It doesn't excuse you guys for not telling me!” I growled.

“I know… I understand that you're upset with us-”

“Upset? I'm fucking pissed! I trusted you guys!” I cut her off and started going off on her.

“Honoka-chan, calm down.” Kotori-chan pleaded.

“Tell me why you refused to say a word about it! And it better be a good fucking reason!” I didn't listen to her.

“I'm sorry… please…” Kotori-chan started crying.

“I hate you guys… I really do…” I snapped at her.

Kotori-chan got off the bed and ran out of the room. I heard them talking in the hall, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I wonder who'll come in to yell at me for that.

A minute later, Eli-chan walked in. Well, I wasn't expecting her. I thought for sure Umi-chan would storm in.

“Come up with an excuse for not telling me yet?” I asked her bitterly.

“Honoka, enough,” Eli-chan stated as she sat on the edge of my bed.

“No! I'm not dropping it until you answer me!” I declared.

“You got your answer. No one thought she'd do it.” Eli-chan replied.

“Get out then. I have no want to talk with you. I hate you guys!” I yelled at her.

Eli-chan got up and pulled up a chair, “I'm not leaving until you calm down. Or would you rather the doctor comes in and forces you to stop.”

“If you'd leave, I'd calm down,.” I stated.

Eli-chan shook her head, “No. I'm not leaving.”

“I'm not apologizing.” I glared at her.

“I didn't ask for an apology. I just want you to calm down.” Eli-chan stated.

I ignored her by turning away. We didn't speak to each other. I wish she'd just leave.

“Hey, can I just ask you one thing?” Eli-chan asked.

“Fine. No guarantee I'm answering you.” I replied.

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

Ah, the dreaded question. It was only a matter of time.

“I'm not answering it,” I stated firmly.

“Alright. I can't force you to talk.” Eli-chan accepted it.

We continued to sit in silence. It was strange. I wish they'd have turned the TV on or something.

“Eli… did you guys hear what she said to everyone?” I asked after a little bit.

“Not much. We all went looking for you. All I heard was her saying how horrible our school was. I assume because you're allowed in school.” Eli-chan told me, “Where were you hiding exactly?”

“Storage closet…” I mumbled.

Eli-chan rested a hand on my shoulder, “Will you talk to me, or is this the only conversation we'll have until I leave?”

“Depends…”

“Will you tell me why you're so upset with us?”

“You didn't tell me. You knew… you knew she was planning to do that… why would you assume everything would turn out okay? And what does that have to do with not telling me? Do you not trust me enough?” My voice sounded broken as I spoke, tears falling down my face again.

How many times will I cry today?

“I'm sorry, Honoka. I really am. We didn't want you to get even more upset. We worried about how you'd take it… honestly, it was brought up that you could try to kill yourself because of her… I guess that came true…” Eli-chan said, speaking calmly despite the growing tension in the air.

“I'm warning you now. I'm not going to forgive you guys easily. You have to earn my trust back.” I told her.

“Then so be it. We'll get through it together.” Eli-chan replied.

After that, we went silent again. I was going to ask her more questions, but the door to the room opened. The two people I never wanted to see any less in my life than right now walked in.

“So. You didn't die?” Dad seemed disappointed.

“Yeah…” I replied.

Eli-chan removed her hand from my shoulder. Mom and dad walked closer.

“You happy with yourself? Causing all these problems?” Dad glared at me.

I gripped Eli-chan's hand in fear as they stared me down. She gripped back and ran her thumb over my hand. She was shaking. And I was too.

“How did I cause them?” I managed to get out.

“If you'd just be a normal kid none of this would've happened!” Mom yelled at me.

I shrunk back, terrified they'd try and hurt me. What if they had enough of me?

“If you can't be nice, then get out!” Eli-chan yelled back at her, “You're horrible parents! Right now she needs people to help her, not tell her she's the reason for everything going wrong!”

Eli-chan… you messed up bigtime…

“She? Her? Has he got you fooled as well?” Mom glared at Eli-chan now.

“Huh?” Eli-chan was, understandably, confused.

“Has he gotten you to think he's a girl? How sad. You see, that's the exact reason he's to blame! If he'd just get out of this stupid fantasy, none of this would've ever happened!” Mom started screaming at her.

“No. Do you know what would have happened if she couldn't be herself? You'd have had a dead kid a long time ago! And you'd be to blame!”

“You know nothing. I suggest thinking over what we said.” Mom glared at me one last time before leaving.

“You're dead to us, Taro.” Dad growled as he followed mom out.

“Honoka… I'm so sorry… I didn't know they were that bad…” Eli-chan pulled me into a hug.

I was going to pull away, but decided not to. I really do need someone right now. I gripped her back and started sobbing.

Eli-chan rubbed my back as she started singing softly to me. I don't really know why she'd sing. After a little, I realized it actually helped calm me down.

“Thank you… I don't think I'd have been able to stand up to them…” I mumbled out.

“It's fine…” Eli-chan replied.

We pulled away. I stared up at her. She gave me a calm, reassuring look.

“I… I guess I forgive you…” I stated, moving my gaze to the bed.

“You guess? What does that mean?” Eli-chan asked me.

I guess that's her attempt to lighten up the mood.

“I forgive you a little bit. But only you.” I stated firmly.

“Well, I guess we've made progress.”

“Yeah…”

A few minutes passed with us just talking quietly. She didn't ask me any personal questions. I just asked to be filled in on what happened while I was in my coma.

A nurse came in the room, “Ma'am, you have to leave soon.”

“Alright. I'll leave in a few minutes.” Eli-chan replied.

“It's time already…” I pouted.

“Unfortunately it seems like it. Is there anything you'd like before I go?” Eli-chan asked.

I thought about it, “Um… c-could you s-sing me to sleep? It's too quiet here…”

I felt stupid asking for that. But, it helped earlier. And it'll get her to stay a bit longer. I don't want to be alone.

“Alright. I guess I can.” Eli-chan said.

I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I hate it here. I wonder how long I'll be stuck here for.

I felt Eli-chan pulled the covers onto me, before she softly started humming a tune. After a bit of the humming, she sang softly.

As I started drifting off, my mind tried to make me worry again. But, I shut it off for once.

“Goodnight, Honoka…” Eli-chan finished her song, “We'll be back tomorrow after school.”

I heard her start walking away as I fell asleep. Let's hope this time I don't fall into a coma.


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovering

Honoka's POV:

I was stuck in the hospital still. It had now been two months since that day. I was slowly recovering. I should be able to leave within the week. But, I have to use either crutches or a cane to walk. Since I damaged my spine, I can't move the way I used to. At least for now. The doctor said as long as I keep doing my exercises I should be able to go back to normal after a while.

“Hey, we’re here.”

Everyday μ's came to see me. On school days, it would be right after class. On the weekends, they'd take turns coming to see me throughout the day.

I still hadn't told them why I tried to kill myself. They ask me if I'd talk about it almost everyday, but I always refuse. The voice in my head won't shut up every time I consider it. It just tells me they'll laugh and that they don't care.

“So… How has your day been?” Kotori-chan asked.

“Fine…” I mumbled.

My voice had gotten lower and lower as the days went by. My parents stopped my blockers. They won't let me take them anymore, so now I'm slowly starting puberty, but as the wrong gender...

I still hadn't forgiven μ's completely. I can't bring myself to trust them. Again, it's because of that voice. It says they'll hurt me again if I forgive them. Even though I said I'd forgiven Eli-chan, I'm still hesitant to open up.

“Are you going to talk yet?”

They asked it every single day. It became a custom at this point. I still didn't want to talk.

_Once they know, it's over. You'll be locked away ‘cause of how insane you are!_

Was it being over dramatic? I don't know. But, it had a point. What if they get concerned and force me to talk to a therapist or something? I don't wanna open up to them, and definitely not to a random stranger!

“W-what exactly do you want to know?” I asked.

“Just, why you felt that was the right idea.”

They want to know why I didn't try anything else. I don't know if they'd believe me if I told them a voice in my head told me to. Would that be even more of a reason for them to get me help?

“I… I don't want to talk about it… not with all of you…” I whispered.

“That's fine. Who would you talk to?”

“Um… Umi-chan?” I said.

“You want me?” She seemed a bit surprised.

I nodded. Everyone else left the room to give us some space. Umi-chan sat next to me. I leaned into her without realizing it.

“You okay?” Umi-chan asked as she grabbed one of my hand.

“No…” I shook my head.

Umi-chan tilted her head to the side, “What's wrong?”

“Everything…” I muttered.

Umi-chan sighed, “I can't help you if you won't tell me anything.”

I remained silent. Where would I even start with my problems?

“Well, for now, how about we just start with why we're alone. You can add on anything afterwards.” Umi-chan said.

“Alright…” I mumbled.

“Take your time.”

“Well… recently there's been this voice… it keeps telling me what I should believe…” I paused, unsure if she thought I was crazy.

“And what did it tell you?” Umi-chan pressed.

“It told me that no one really cared… that I should just die. No one would miss me… when I hesitated it called me a coward…” I admitted.

“Do you still have this voice?”

“Y-yeah…” I braced myself for the response.

“What does it say now?”

“It keeps telling me that you guys don't care. That you just want to hurt me again…”

_And I'm right. How sympathetic does she look? Too much is the answer. She's trying too hard to get you to like her again._

I looked over her expression. It did look sympathetic, but was it really too much?

“So… you cut yourself?” Umi-chan asked hesitantly.

I nodded, feeling ashamed I had to say yes.

“Why did you do that? And how? Uh, if you don't mind telling me.” She was trying to make it seem like I had a choice.

I know I don't have a choice. They'll keep asking until I tell them. I don't get a say.

“I… I found glass… I used it…” I told her, “I… I just wanted that voice to shut up.”

She tried to wrap her arm around me, but I flinched and drew away. I still wasn't keen on people touching me. Sometimes it hurt and sometimes it didn't. But I also didn't want her touching me because I don't trust her. What if she tried to hurt me on purpose? It wouldn't take much to redo all the damage again.

“Sorry…” Umi-chan mumbled.

She tried this before. Every time I always pull back.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

“What's gonna happen when they say I can leave?” I had avoided asking for as long as I could, but I needed to know before that day came.

“I don't know.” Umi-chan told me, her eyes having a look of worry for a few seconds.

“Do you really?” I challenged her without hesitation.

“Mostly… I do know that you can leave. They decided you're not a danger to yourself anymore, so you won't be taken away. But, I can't say much else. It's really you who gets to decide that.” Umi-chan told me.

“I don't have anywhere to go…” I mumbled, trying to tell her the problem without having to bring back those memories.

Umi-chan shook her head, “Yes, you do. Kotori-chan said she can let you move in.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I know you don't really trust us still, but we are going to help. Don't doubt that.”

_Is their help good, though?_

“Okay…” I replied meekly.

“Well, unless you have anything else, I'm gonna go get everyone to let them talk to you.”

“Alright…” I agreed.

She left for a few minutes. I could hear them talking, but it was too quiet to make anything out.

_They're talking about how pathetic you are._

They wouldn't… right? Umi-chan is just telling them what I said to her. That's all it is.

Everyone soon filed back into the room. I instinctively curled up slightly. I get a little panicked whenever a lot of people are around me.

“Honoka, would you mind if we asked a few questions? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.”

“Sure…” I resigned to the questioning.

“Well, uh, I've been wanting to know why your parents aren't… how do I put it, accepting?” Eli-chan started off the questions.

“I don't want to talk about it.” That incident is still too fresh in my mind. I don't want that to pop in again. Or any of the other abuse I've received from them.

“Why?”

“It's too much… I can't bear to remember it right now… please, leave it…” I begged. I don't want any questions about them right now.

“Okay. That's fine.”

I could tell they weren't happy I wouldn't answer them.

…

Another week had passed. I was finally leaving the hospital. Kotori-chan and Umi-chan came to assist me. I was able to move around well enough with a cane, but stairs were a problem.

“When we get home, I have a little surprise for you.” Kotori-chan told me.

It made me a bit scared, but also eager to get home. Home… yeah, that's my home now.

We made it home after about a 10 minute walk. I was still slow, so we took a while. I had insisted on walking. They wanted to get a ride back, but I didn't want that.

“Come on. It's in our room.” Kotori-chan led me slowly to her room.

“Our room?” I asked, a bit confused.

“Yeah… well, if you want it to be… we have another room, but I thought you might wanna stay in the room with me.” Kotori-chan replied.

“That's fine.” I responded.

I would rather a room to myself, but then she'd probably get worried. I don't need someone worrying about me every day.

The three of us entered her room. I sat on the bed with Umi-chan by my side as Kotori-chan dug through her closet. I had no idea what the surprise was.

After a minute, Kotori-chan pulled a bag out and handed it to me, “For you.”

I took it and hesitantly looked inside. I saw a white box. I pulled it out and read it.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Birth control.”

“Why on Earth would I need this?” I was very confused.

“Well, since you aren't on your puberty blockers anymore, and you can't get the pills, this was the only other thing. It has estrogen in it. I read that I can help a little.” Umi-chan explained.

“Oh… t-thank you…” I wasn't expecting this.

Both of them smiled at me, “Anything to help.”

After that we went to the living room and watched some TV. I had sat as far to the edge of the couch as possible. I don't know why I feel I need to stay away from them, but I can't shake off that thought.

They've been trying their best to help me, but it hasn't improved my feelings toward them. I wish everything would go back to normal, I really do.

“So, uh, when am I allowed back to school?” I asked, praying it wouldn't be for a while.

“Next week, if you're ready. You can take a few weeks off if you need them.” Umi-chan replied.

“Okay…”

“Honoka-chan, why won't you open up yet? We really want to help, but we need some background.” Kotori-chan asked me.

“I don't trust you.” I stated.

“And why don't you trust us?” Umi-chan asked me in response.

“I just don't.” I replied tartly.

No way am I telling them about the voice. If they find out that's what I'm listening to, they'll just say the standard response of “don't listen to it”.

“Please tell us something. You can't avoid it forever.” Kotori-chan begged.

“Eventually…” I mumbled, curling up slightly.

Umi-chan stood up and moved to stand in front of me, “You are talking, now!”

“Umi-chan! Don't force her!” Kotori-chan begged as she got up and tugged on Umi-chan arms.

“I'm sick of this! You keep babying her! She won't ever talk if you don't make her!” Umi-chan glared at us.

“Please… you don't understand…” Kotori-chan whispered.

Umi-chan ignored her, “You are going to talk now.”

“No.” I replied, trying not to let my voice waver.

I don't like how she's acting. It's scary. What if she hurts me?

“Umi-chan, listen to her,” Kotori-chan asked.

Umi-chan forced her way out of Kotori-chan’s grip and grabbed one of my shoulders. I let out a small yelp.

“Talk.” Umi-chan demanded, “Stop being a baby!”

“Leave me alone.” I tried to sound forceful, but I don't think I did a good job.

Her grip on me tightened. I was shaking in fear. Images were flashing through my mind. I need out. I need to get out of here.

I mustered as much courage as I could and kicked Umi-chan away from me. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door before I sank to the floor, sobbing.

“Maki-chan told you what would happen if you did that! Why wouldn't you listen!?”

I heard them screaming at each other. I put my hands over my ears to try and block it out.

“Get out! You're making everything worse!”

I heard the front door slam. I guess she listened. A moment later, Kotori-chan was knocking on the door.

I slowly opened the door. She pulled me into a hug as I broke down again.

After I calmed, we went to the bedroom. I laid down on the bed while Kotori-chan sat on the edge.

“Honoka-chan, I'm sorry… I won't apologize for her, but…” Kotori-chan said.

“It's not your fault…” I replied.

“Um, why did you freak out so much?”

“Flashbacks…” I hesitantly admitted.

“Will you tell me about them?” Kotori-chan asked softly.

I remained silent for a few minutes, “I… I guess…”

After I collected myself, I started the story.

“Well… I was around ten. We had a family gathering at a cousin's house. The family there were the worst about my… problem. At one point, my grandfather pulled me aside and started…” I paused as the images and sounds came back again.

Kotori-chan grabbed my hand and waited patiently.

After a few minutes, I felt good enough to continue, “He yelled and screamed at me at first. When he saw it wasn't going to change anything, he got… physical. They way she was going on… it just reminded me of that time…”

Kotori-chan pulled me into a tight hug. I tensed up a first, but I slowly allowed myself to relax a little.

“I can't imagine what that was like…” Kotori-chan whispered.

“I hope you never will be able to imagine it…” I replied.

We stayed like that for a little, before I couldn't handle the touching and pulled away. Unlike Umi-chan, Kotori-chan seemed to understand what my comfort levels were.

“Well, why don't we go and cook something for dinner together,” Kotori-chan offered.

I smiled and nodded, “Sure. I'd like that.”

That's what we did. It was fun. It took my mind off the events for a while. But, when I tried to sleep that night, they came back.

“Kotori-chan? Are you awake?” I whispered.

“Yeah…” A sleepy voice replied.

“I can't sleep… my mind won't shut up…” I mumbled.

“Do you want to sleep with me?” Kotori-chan offered.

“I guess…” I crawled out of my makeshift bed and got into her's.

“Goodnight. You can wake me if you need anything.” Kotori-chan yawned out as she moved to face me.

“Okay… thanks…” I whispered back.


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Umi feels bad about what happened between her and Honoka, so she tries to make it up to her

Honoka's POV:

_“You really thought we'd leave you alone? How stupid are you?” My parents stood in front of me, staring me down with the most twisted expressions I had ever seen on their faces._

_“W-what do you want?” My voice shook as much as I was as I spoke._

_I had no idea where we were. All I knew was that there was no way out in sight. Wherever we were was completely blank. There was nothing in sight at all. It was an empty room._

_“We just wanted to fix everything.” I could tell there was a darker meaning behind those words._

_The next thing I knew was that I was on the floor, being pinned down by something I couldn't see. My parents towered over me, an evil glint in their eyes and a crooked smile on their lips._

_Something glimmered in their hands. Where the light had come from was beyond me, but it drew my attention to the intent of my parents._

_Both of them had a knife grasped in their hands. I had no doubt in my mind as to what they were for._

_I tried struggling against the invisible restraints around me, but it was to no avail. It was hopeless; I was stuck._

_Then I dawned on me: This is a nightmare._

_But, how do I wake up? Do I have to go through the entire dream? I guess I do… let's hope it's almost over._

_“It's time for this to stop.” Dad stepped forward and crouched beside me._

_I closed my eyes and braised myself for the pain. For a split second I felt the knife and then it stopped._

…

I shot up, panting heavily. That felt so real. My heart was pounding. I swear I could still feel where the knife hit.

“Are you okay?” Kotori-chan asked.

I must've woken her up.

“I'm fine…” I replied, not wanting to talk about it.

Kotori-chan sat up, “Are you sure?”

“It was just a stupid nightmare… I'm fine…” I stated.

“If that's the case then why won't you talk about it?” Kotori-chan saw through my lie.

“Why do you want to know about it so badly?” I shot back, getting defensive.

“It seemed like it upset you a lot…” She replied.

I sighed, “It's nothing. It didn't upset me.”

“You really aren't gonna tell me anything?” Kotori-chan pouted.

“Are you giving me a choice? It doesn't seem like it.” I asked.

“You don't have to talk, but then I want to know why.” Kotori-chan replied.

“The nightmare is over, leave it at that.” I stated.

“Alright. Then let's go back to bed.” Kotori-chan left it at that and laid back down.

I hesitantly laid down as well. Was she really going to just let me go? I guess so.

“Goodnight…” I whispered.

“Night…”Kotori-chan replied.

Kotori-chan was asleep in minutes. On the other hand, I was having a bit of difficulty. After that nightmare, I wasn't too keen on sleeping.

I watched Kotori-chan as she slept. She looked peaceful and… really cute. I felt my face heat up slightly. How can someone be this cute?

I moved closer to her. Would it be bad if I just…

I gently kissed her on the head. She moved around a little, but remained asleep. I snuggled closer to her. I feel safe. I don't feel as afraid of her anymore.

…

“Honoka-chan…” I felt someone shaking me.

I opened my eyes to see Kotori-chan in front of me.

“Good morning.” She greeted me.

I sat up and stretched, “Morning.”

“I made some breakfast. Whenever you're ready you can come and eat.” Kotori-chan told me, before she left the room.

I slowly drug myself out of the bed. I really didn't want to get up, but I was hungry. I stood up and stretched again, before I walked to the dining room.

Kotori-chan was sitting there eating some pancakes. I took the seat next to her, which had another plate sitting there that I assumed was mine.

We ate in silence for a while. I didn't know what to say. Part of me still felt like she'd ask about the nightmare. But, she didn't say anything about it.

“So… what do you wanna do for today?” Kotori-chan asked.

I shrugged, “I don't know…”

“Well, let me know when you think of something then.” Kotori-chan replied.

She was forcing me to choose something, huh? Well, I guess I can be a bit greedy today.

“I wanna snuggle,” I stated after a few minutes of pretending like I was thinking.

“You do?” Kotori-chan seemed a little surprised.

I nodded, “Yeah.”

“Alright then. Let me clean up. You can go into the living room in the meantime.” Kotori-chan told me as she stood up.

I got up as well, albeit a little slower than her. I limped a little as I made my way over to the couch. I don't know why I decided not to bring my cane downstairs with me.

“I'm here.” Kotori-chan announced as she entered into the room.

She plopped down beside me, making sure not to move the couch as she did so. We sat in silence for a moment, before I leaned closer to her.

“How come you're okay with this now? Yesterday you hated being touched.” Kotori-chan asked.

I shrugged, “I don't know a way to really explain it.”

“Okay. Well, come on then.” Kotori-chan held out her hands.

I moved myself into her lap and rested my head against her chest. Kotori-chan wrapped her arms around me.

We sat like that for a long time. Both of us didn't say a word, we just relished in being with each other. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the silence. The hospital was always noisy, so this was nice for once.

“Honoka-chan, would you be willing to talk to Umi-chan?” Kotori-chan asked me.

I opened my eyes and quickly shook my head, “No!”

“Even just over the phone?”

“I… I guess that's fine…” I gave in.

“She feels bad about yesterday and wants to talk to you. Can I call her now or do you need some time?” Kotori-chan asked me.

“Let's get it over with.” I mumbled.

Kotori-chan grabbed her phone from the couch and opened up Umi-chan's contact page. She pressed the call button and turned it on speaker.

I shrunk into Kotori-chan a little. She grabbed one of my hands with her other hand and held it tightly. We waited as the phone rang. After the third ring, she picked up. I held my breath as she started speaking.

_“Hey.”_

“Hi, Umi-chan! Good morning!” Kotori-chan started the conversation.

_“Why are you calling me?”_

“You said you'd apologize.” Kotori-chan reminded her.

_“Oh, right.”_

“Honoka-chan is here, so you can talk.”

I wasn't up to talking, but I mumbled out a “Hey…” so she knew I was indeed here.

_“Hey… uh, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I wasn't thinking about you when I said that. It just reminded me of something from my past and… I guess I just… I just thought you'd react how I did.”_

Kotori-chan motioned for me to get off of her. I reluctantly did so.

“Do you… do you wanna talk about it?” I hesitantly asked. She sounded really hesitant to say that, so I thought maybe she never told anyone before.

Kotori-chan handed me the phone and left the room. She whispered that she was giving us some privacy to talk. I took the phone off the speaker and held it up to my ear.

_“Why are you asking that?”_

“Because you sound like you need to talk about it.” I replied.

_“I-I've never told anyone before…”_

“I could tell.”

_“Let's make a deal. If I tell you, you tell me something.”_

I thought about it. If I wanted her to talk, I'd have to talk too. Is there anything I can say that isn't too bad? Maybe I should just match the intenseness of her story. That way she won't feel alone in her experience.

“Deal. But you go first.”

_“Alright. Uh, Kotori-chan…”_

“She left to give us some privacy.”

_“Okay… then I guess I'll start.”_

So, she didn't want Kotori-chan to be listening to us. I wonder why?

“Take your time.” I told Umi-chan.

 _“You know what my family is like, don't you? They don't take weakness very well. One time, I accidentally did something I shouldn't have, but I couldn't say that. I wasn't given a chance to defend myself, they just assumed I had done it to spite them. When they finally asked me what happened, I didn't say anything. They wouldn't have believed me anyway…”_ She paused and I could hear her taking deep breaths.

I waited patiently for her to continue. While I waited, I thought of something similar I could talk about.

_“I… I got yelled at, kinda like how I reacted with you… I'm sorry… I ended up just lying and saying what they accused me of doing…”_

We went silent for a while. I couldn't think of anything to say to her that wasn't cliche.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

_“Y-Yeah… I'm fine.”_

“I guess it's my turn then…” I mumbled.

_“Take your time too…”_

I smiled slightly. The old Umi-chan is back.

“Well, I guess mine is kinda similar. Except, y’know, it's about… this… I can't remember much of it, but I do remember being basically interrogated after I finally stood my ground about being who I am. My parents… they were the ones that did it. That's why I kinda panicked. The other one was when my grandfather tried… he got violent though…”

_“I'm sorry… I really am…”_

“I forgive you.” I forced out.

I did forgive her, but not completely. I knew no matter what I would be wary around her for a while.

 _“Thank you. I have to go now. Maybe after school tomorrow we could meet up?”_ Umi-chan asked.

“Do you mean alone?”

_“It doesn't have to be just us if you're not comfortable with that.”_

“I'll think about it.”

_“Okay. Goodbye.”_

“Bye.”

I brought the phone down from my ear. Umi-chan had already ended the call. I took a deep breath, before I got up. I limped my way to the kitchen, which is where Kotori-chan left to. She was sitting at the table reading a book. I set her phone down in front of her and took a seat.

“How'd it go?” Kotori-chan asked, putting her book down.

“It went better than I thought it would.” I admitted.

“That's good.”

“So… What should we do now? We still have an entire day.”

Kotori-chan paused before answering, “Do you wanna go out or stay in?”

“Stay in.” I mumbled.

“Then why don't we watch a movie or something.”

I nodded, “That sounds good. A movie would be nice.”

“Okay, then let's do that.”


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honoka’s parents are back at it

Honoka’s POV:

“I'll see you later. You can text me whenever, though I might not be able to respond right away.” Kotori-chan kissed me on the cheek as she headed out the door.

She had school. I wasn't going yet. I had a week to rest before I even had to think about going back to school.

The only downside to being left alone is that I have nothing to do. I guess I should probably try and do some work from while I was in the hospital. But, I don't really understand it that well. I guess I can bug Kotori-chan when she gets home to help me with it.

I sighed and made my way back to my bedroom. I had the room to myself, though I think I'll keep staying in Kotori-chan’s room. I'd rather be with her than by myself. Especially if I have anymore nightmares.

Just as I sat down, my phone buzzed. I opened it up and smiled.

_Birb105: I'm at school now. I'll talk to you at lunch. Have a nice day!_

I debated on sending something back. I don't really know what to say. I wanna just complain and beg her to come back. I want to be with her.

I'm still scared. What if that voice comes back again? What if my… parents, if you can call them that, try to start something up again? I'm not able to handle that alone.

_Honk: K. I miss you already._

It was the best I could send. I didn't want to beg her to come back, but I wanted her to know I wanted her with me.

_Birb105: So do I. Love you!_

_Honk: Love you too!_

I put my phone down and stared at the wall. It was one of those days where you would just feel like doing something, but at the same time just wanting to not exist.

I sighed as I laid down on the bed. I closed my eyes and just laid there. I started daydreaming.

I was brought out of my daydream by my phone ringing. I sat up and looked at who was calling me. My heart felt like it stopped when I saw who it was.

My mind went blank as I stared at the name on the screen.

_Mom_

What do I do? Should I answer it? Should I ignore it? What if she leaves a message?

I started panicking. I have no idea what I should do.

Despite my better judgment, I answered the phone. I put it on speaker incase she started yelling at me.

“What do you want?” I asked, my voice cracking as I shook slightly in terror.

 _"_ _Just thought I'd check on my son._ _"_

I could almost see the sneer she was making.

“Well, I think you have the wrong number then. I'm not your son, or your kid for the matter.” I shot back, remember what my father told me that one night they came to see me in the hospital.

 _"_ _You're still my son, just in the shadows_ _"_

“I am not your son!” I yelled.

 _"_ _Stop this act already. Look where it's gotten you._ _"_

“It's gotten me two lovely girlfriends and an awesome group of friends.” I retorted.

This was the first time I told them about us dating. I braced myself for her comments.

 _"_ _Two girlfriends? A bit much, don't you think? They only love you for your body. They see you as a boy, believe me._ _"_

“They do not.” I growled, clenching my fists into tight balls.

 _"_ _They do, you just can't see that. You're too hopeful_ _"_

“Will you leave me alone? I'm not sitting here and listening to you talk shit about my friends.”

 _"_ _You know I'm right_ _"_

“Goodbye. I am not talking to you again.” I stated and hung up. I blocked her number and dad's.

I set my phone down and curled up on the bed. I started crying. Why can't I just have a happy life? Why can't I be normal?

I shakily opened my phone again and texted Kotori-chan.

_Honk: My mom called me…_

I don't know if she'll respond, but I hope so. I need someone. I need to talk or else I'm gonna hurt myself.

I can feel the urge building. I just want to hurt my wrists. I can't take it for long.

_Birb105: What happened?_

_Honk: She just yelled at me… I blocked her number now._

I sighed in relief. Thank God she responded. I just hope she can stay and talk for a little.

_Birb105: Are you okay?_

_Honk: I guess_

_Birb105: I need to go. We'll talk at lunch. Please don't do anything you'll regret._

_Honk: I promise I won't_

I put my phone down and laid on the bed. I slowly drifted off, crying every now and again. I dozed off until the afternoon. I woke from my phone buzzing.

_Birb105: You doing okay?_

_Honk: Yeah. I took a nap_

_Birb105: I love you_

_Honk: Love you too_

_Birb105: Would you maybe wanna go and hang out in the mall after school is over?_

_Honk: With who?_

_Birb105: No one, unless you want someone else to come_

_Honk: Umi-chan wanted to meet up_

_Birb105: You want me to invite her?_

_Honk: Sure_

I feel like I might regret it. I don't know if I'll react okay around her. I hope so, but I don't know.

_Birb105: She said she'd like to go_

_Honk: Meet up at our house and then go?_

_Birb105: That sounds good! See you then!_

I chuckled slightly as I put away my phone. I got off the bed and headed to the kitchen. I guess I should eat something.

I'm nervous for later. There are so many things that could happen. I hope nothing does. I just want this to be a nice meet up.


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girlfriends hanging out together

Honoka's POV:

School ended ten minutes ago. I was anxiously waiting for them to get home. I was sitting on the couch fiddling with my hands. I was really nervous.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself I would be okay, I couldn't believe it. I don't feel okay as it is. I really hope that everything goes smoothly. I can't handle anymore drama right now.

I was broken out of my thoughts as I heard the door open. It was followed by two voices talking. I stood up and went to greet them.

"Hey, Honoka-chan! How are you?" Kotori-chan asked first.

I shrugged, "I'm okay…"

"Hey…" Umi-chan mumbled out. She refused to meet my gaze.

I walked over, flinching slightly as my cane echoed off the floor. I hugged Kotori-chan first. She hugged me back and kissed my head. I nuzzled myself into her for a moment, before pulling away. I couldn't do that right now.

I walked over to Umi-chan and hugged her cautiously. I wasn't afraid of her. I was just worried she'd resist and accidentally hurt me by it. Umi-chan tensed up.

Kotori-chan hugged her as well, "It's alright, Umi-chan. You're forgiven now."

Umi-chan still didn't relax after a few minutes. Kotori-chan pulled away. I could see the hurt on her face. I slowly tightened my grip on Umi-chan.

"I'm okay, Umi-chan. What happened then is in the past. I forgive you. I really do." I whispered in her ear.

Umi-chan slowly relaxed into my grip. After another few minutes, she shakily brought her hands around me and hugged back. Kotori-chan smiled at me and hugged both of us again. Umi-chan removed one arm from me and wrapped it around Kotori-chan.

"I'm really sorry…" Umi-chan whispered.

"You're forgiven," I kissed her cheek.

We stayed like that for a while. We stopped when Umi-chan pulled away. We stood in a circle and just stared at each other.

"Well, shall we head out?" Kotori-chan broke the silence.

We nodded and did so. We headed out the door and started walking. I was slow. I still couldn't walk as well as I would like.

"Take your time. We have all day." Kotori-chan whispered.

I guess she could tell I felt bad about making them slow down.

"Yeah, we'll go at your own pace." Umi-chan agreed.

As we walked, people stared at us. Well, me. I knew people were judging me.

"Are you okay, Honoka?" Umi-chan asked.

"I don't like everyone staring at me…" I mumbled.

"Not much we can do… you kinda need the cane." Umi-chan sighed.

"I know…" I mumbled.

…

We made it to the mall after a long walk. We sat on an empty bench so I could rest. I needed a moment to regain my energy. I don't have my stamina anymore. It sucks.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I felt really bad about making them wait.

"Don't apologize. We'll wait as long as we need to." Kotori-chan stated, giving me a soft smile.

Even though she said that, I still felt really bad. They were being held back because of me. Everyone was. They hadn't done anything with μ's while I've been out. They said they'd wait until I was able to at least be there to watch before starting again.

"Where do you want to go?" Umi-chan asked.

I shrugged, "I don't care."

"Why don't we go look at some clothing stores? If you see anything you like we can get it. You do need some of your own clothes." Kotori-chan suggested.

"Okay." I agreed.

That was true. I had been borrowing Kotori-chan's clothes. It would be nice to have some of my own.

So that's what we did. We spent a good hour looking around and trying things on. And embarrassing Umi-chan with some outfits.

It was fun. But, I still felt like something was off. I don't know why.

After we finished I had a few new outfits for myself to wear. I was really glad. At least this way I wasn't having to annoy Kotori-chan with stealing her clothes. But, I feel bad that I couldn't help pay for them. Maybe I'll do something else to make up for it.

We walked back to our house and put the bags in our room. Afterwards we decided to go and hang out at the park. They reasoned that I needed to get out some. I just went along with it. I don't want to make them feel bad if I don't wanna do something they think would be good for me.

…

We made it to the park a lot faster than I thought. I guess I did push myself to move faster. I regret it now. I hurt a lot.

I sat down on a bench as I tried to catch my breath. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan sat on either side of me. I was torn between who I wanted to lean on for a little. I decided to rest my body in Kotori-chan's side due to that way being more comfortable to move in.

I didn't want to leave Umi-chan out of it, so I grabbed one of her hands. We sat there for a few minutes until I was able to get up.

We went down to a stream that flowed through the town. We sat on the grass and chatted away happily. Well, for a while.

Some kids from school approached us. I looked anywhere but at them. Who knows what they've been told about me.

"Is there a problem?" Umi-chan jumped into action first.

The ringleader of the group stepped forward a little, "Yes, there is."

"And what might that be?" Umi-chan stood up to face them.

Kotori-chan wrapped her arms loosely around me as we watched. I hope this doesn't end in a fight. Umi-chan does get like that is you make her that mad.

"Well, that _tranny_ should be dead. And since they obviously aren't, we've started a petition to get _him_ kicked out of school. You'll never win this fight." The girl laughed, before her and her friends walked away.

I buried my face into Kotori-chan's shirt. I wasn't crying. I couldn't cry. I was just dead inside. I guess I've started becoming numb to this stuff.

"Honoka, they won't get away with this. And that petition won't work. I promise you." Umi-chan knelt next to me.

I just nodded in reply. I didn't feel like moving from my position.

Why are people so mean? What did I do to deserve this?

"Why don't we go home." Kotori-chan suggested softly.

"Okay…" I mumbled out dryly.

We stood up and started a slow walk back to our house. I guess even fun can't last for me anymore.

If I wasn't around they'd be better off. I just ruin everything. I make them have to suffer with me. I wish I wasn't in their way like that.

I was pulled out of my thoughts only when we reached the house. I slumped into the couch and just started blankly at the wall. Kotori-chan sat next to me. Umi-chan stood beside us.

"You know what. I think we should have a sleepover with everyone." Umi-chan said suddenly.

"Yeah. Would that be okay, Honoka-chan? Can we invite everyone over?" Kotori-chan asked.

"Sure." I agreed. I don't really care. I know they're doing this to show me not everyone is like that. And they probably want everyone to visit me anyway.

"I'll go ask everyone to come over," Umi-chan said as she left the room.

I'm kinda concerned. I wonder if they're going to plan something behind my back. I'd rather just a quiet time than them doing something.


	17. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of them hanging out together

Honoka's POV:

It took almost an hour for anyone to show up. During that time I was nervously sitting on the couch. I'm not sure what'll come out of this.

Nozomi-chan was the first to show up. She always was the first one to anything after all.

"Hello, Honoka-chan. How are you?" Nozomi-chan greeted me first.

"Fine." I mumbled.

"Hi, Nozomi-chan! You made it!" Kotori-chan came into the living room.

"Yes. I guess I'm first." Nozomi-chan replied.

"Yep." Kotori-chan nodded.

Only a few minutes passed before the next person arrived. Nico-chan came in and greeted us as well. Umi-chan joined us in the living room.

We all sat on the couches and talked as we waited. Kotori-chan left us to go to the kitchen and get some drinks.

While she was doing that Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan came in. Rin-chan brought in a flower and was showing us it. She really liked the flower.

"You know it'll die in a few days now, right?" Umi-chan asked.

Rin-chan frowned, "I know… but I really wanted the flower."

Kotori-chan came back in with some drinks and set them down on the coffee table. She greeted Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan before going to get the rest of the drinks.

Eli-chan came in and joined us. And soon Maki-chan showed up too. Kotori-chan finished bringing in all the drinks by herself, much to Umi-chan’s disliking, and then we all sat down.

We made small talk at first. I didn't really say anything. I just listened and occasionally agreed or nodded. I wasn't too interested in what they were talking about anyway.

But after a while, they turned the conversation to me. I knew they'd do it eventually, but that didn't mean I was ready for it by any means.

"So, how have you been, Honoka-chan?"

"Fine…" I mumbled.

"Are you sure? You can talk to us, you know."

I don't want to. The last thing I want is for everyone to know about my life and how bad it is. Why can't they just leave it.

"Everything's fine." I repeated.

"Alright."

Thank God they backed away. I don't like being questioned and then doubted. If they think they know the answer then why do they ask me if I'll lie? I don't get it.

"What are we gonna do for the night?" Rin-chan asked.

Everyone looked at me. I shrugged and looked down. I wasn't the one who planned this. I don't want any part of this.

"Honoka, you get to choose." Umi-chan said.

"I don't want to." I muttered.

"Why not?" Kotori-chan asked.

"I had no part in this plan. I'm not choosing anything." I stated firmly.

I could feel everyone’s gazes staring at me, but I didn't care. I said okay to this plan, but I do NOT wanna be incharge of it. I kinda just want to go along with whatever as long as it's nothing bad.

“Why don't we all say something we wanna do and vote on three or four of them to do tonight?” Eli-chan suggested.

“That's a good idea,” Nozomi-chan nodded.

Soon everyone else nodded in agreement too. Kotori-chan left to go grab a piece of paper and pencil to write everything down on. When she returned, we went in a circle and listed off something to do.

“Karaoke.”

“Board games.”

“Cards.”

“Video games.”

“Truth or dare.”

“Never have I ever.”

“Movies…” I had to say something.

“Uh, mine was taken… so, cooking?”

“Talking.”

After we all said something, we had a few minutes to consider what we wanted to do. The top 3 would be our activities for the evening.

We had our vote. Video games, board games, and a movie were what were the top 3. That was the order we were doing them in.

It was later now, so we set up the game on the TV. Umi-chan and Kotori-chan went to bring snacks to eat. We would all be taking turns playing the game. Each level we'd switch.

I had to admit it wasn't that bad. I actually enjoyed it a little. I guess it was nice to just be a normal kid again.

We spent a good two or so hours playing. We finished the game so we decided it was time to switch to the next activity. We all went onto the floor around the coffee table. Kotori-chan grabbed the board games she had and set them in front of us on the table. We all debated on which one we wanted to play.

After a few minutes of arguing about it, everyone came to an agreement. We kept that one out and set the rest of the games on the floor. The game allowed five to play at a time, so for the first round Nico-chan, Rin-chan, Eli-chan, Umi-chan, and I were the players. It was a long game to play. It took us quite some time to finish it.

After we finished, the other 4 girls played. It wasn't boring to watch them since the game had so many different scenarios that could happen. It would take someone a long time to get every scenario to happen.

Last we picked a movie to watch together. Everyone had set up their sleeping mats around the room. After the movie we would all go to bed. They all had school tomorrow after all. We ended up watching a drama that was a little strange to me. We quietly discussed the movie as it went on.

Slowly everyone started to fall asleep. By the time the movie ended, only 4 of us were still up. We all mumbled a goodnight to each other and settled into our beds.

As I was starting to drift off, I felt someone wrap their arms around me. I was too tired to try and figure out who it was, so I just snuggled closer to them. I felt one of their hands run through my hair.

“Love you…” I heard them whisper out.

I couldn't tell who it was, so I just kept silent. Maybe they think I'm asleep already. It'd be a bit awkward if they thought that and then I spoke back. I closed my eyes again and left myself drift off. I felt safe in their arms.


	18. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to school only to have to deal with more drama and hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slurs

Honoka’s POV:

After two weeks I finally went back to school. I was able to walk without my cane. But, dancing was still a big no.

"So, you ready to go back?" Kotori-chan asked me.

I shrugged, "I guess…"

"Nervous?" Kotori-chan guessed.

I nodded, "A little. There's a lot of students and I'm not the fastest still. I'm afraid I'm gonna get run over."

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen." Kotori-chan promised.

…

We arrived at school early and went to the clubroom. Everyone was there and was overjoyed to see me back in school. Everyone have me a hug and some encouragement to get through the day.

We spent the time we had left to just talk about what we were going to do now that I was back. Practice would start today. I'd be watching them from the sidelines.

When the warning bell rang, we started filing out of the room. Kotori-chan and Umi-chan stayed on either side of me as we walked down the halls. There were a lot of kids in the school. Lots of them were watching me with a look if disgust in their eyes.

" _Faggot_." I heard someone mutter.

" _Tranny_ …"

"Why's that kid back? No one wants them here."

I kept my eyes down and numbly walked along the hallway. The whispers kept coming, but I blocked them out. I couldn't take it.

"It'll be alright." Umi-chan whispered as she grabbed my hand.

We entered the classroom and took our seats. I tried to shrink in my chair. I don't want anyone to talk about me.

…

The entire day was horrible. Everyone was so mean. They all said such horrid things to me.

Thankfully school ended. We were all going to be on the roof. I had taken a bit longer to dress so I told them to go on without me.

I walked down the school's halls. They were empty now. It was a lot better than this morning.

"Hey!" I heard a voice behind me.

I turned around and saw a girl staring me down. She had a very prominent scowl on her face. I backed away, scared that she would try something.

"Where do you think you're going?" I heard another voice behind me.

I whipped around to see another girl. She had the same scowl on her face as the first one. I gulped.

"W-what do you want?" I stammered out as they started walking toward me.

"We're going to teach you a lesson. Boys don't belong here." One of them said.

Before I could try to do anything, they launched themselves at me and pinned me to the wall. I yelped in pain as my back hit it hard.

"Keep him there. I'll start." The first girl said.

She started punching me as her accomplice held me in place. I cried out in pain as the blows landed all over my body.

I shouldn't have gone alone. I should've accepted Kotori-chan's offer to walk up together.

"Let's see what we have under these clothes, shall we?" The first girl teased and she yanked my shirt off.

"A somewhat flat chest. How do you have boobs?" She glared at me.

"I-I've been taking estrogen…" I whimpered.

"Oh… trying to change your body are we? That's no good. You can't mutilate it like that." She growled, slapping me across the face.

I yelped. She smirked and did it a few more times. After being satisfied, she yanked my pants down. I struggled against the grip of the other girl, but I couldn't get out.

"Let's see what we have down here." The first girl hummed as she pulled down my underwear.

I was crying and desperately struggling to get away. It was to no avail. She wasn't planning on letting me go any time soon.

"See, we have a dick. That means you're a boy. Don't try and deny that." The girl stomped on my feet as hard as she could.

I cried out in agony. She smirked and continued. Her accomplice let me go. I sank to the ground and tried to cover myself. I was shaking in terror as she and her friend started kicking me.

" _Tranny_." They taunted.

I sobbed in pain and terror as they continued to call me names and tell me to die. I couldn't do anything but sit there. I was too afraid to move.

"Maybe you should show the school your body. They'll know exactly what you are then! Let's take a picture and show everyone."

I panicked and cowered farther into the wall. They were going to take a picture of me. They'd send it to the entire school…

"Don't you dare!" I heard someone yell.

"Aw… pipsqueak thinks she can fight us." The girls teased.

"You've made me really angry. And just like small dogs, I can be vicious despite my size." I recognized that the voice was Nico-chan's.

"Let's see you do that then."

I stayed in my ball, shaking and sobbing. I listened as they fought each other. It went silent after a few minutes.

"Honoka?" I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

I slowly looked up to meet Nico-chan's gaze. She pulled me into a hug. I broke down and started crying again. She held me tightly and soothed me.

After a few minutes, I calmed down. I moved away from her.  Nico-chan gave me a sorrowful look. I returned it.

She grabbed my clothes and started helping me put them on again. I was still shaking from the attack. Nico-chan stood up and helped me to my feet once I was dressed again.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you really badly?" Nico-chan asked.

I whimpered in reply. Nico-chan frowned as she took me by my hands and led me to the roof. I resisted after I realized where we were going. I didn't want to go up there.

"Honoka, please. They need to know." Nico-chan pleaded.

"No… please… no…" I cried. I don't want them all to know.

"Honoka, I understand you're afraid, but I promise this is for the best." Nico-chan kept begging.

"I'm not talking." I declared quietly.

"I'll tell them. But, they'll ask stuff I can't answer." Nico-chan replied.

"Tell them I'm not talking." I replied harshly.

"Alright. I'll try." Nico-chan promised.

We opened the door and went out to the roof. Everyone paused what they were doing and looked at us.

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying?" Umi-chan came over to us, Kotori-chan right behind her.

I sat against the wall and stayed silent. I don't want to talk right now.

"Let her be. She needs some time." Nico-chan called as Umi-chan sat beside me.

"What happened?" Kotori-chan asked as she sat on the other side of me.

I pointed to Nico-chan and then buried my face into Kotori-chan's hair. I wasn't talking.

"She doesn't want to talk. She asked me to tell you guys." Nico-chan explained.

"Well, I guess you can start then."

I felt someone running a hand through my hair. I relaxed a little. I was safe here. No one would get me with them here.

Nico-chan started talking from her perspective. I tuned her out and tried to just focus on something else.


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to recover and a certain someone returns

Honoka's POV:

I was curled up on my bed. I was trying to ignore the voices that were coming back into my head. Ever since that incident the voices have come back. And they're getting worse.

It had been about three hours since that issue. Three hours of me suffering while trying to pretend everything is okay. It's hard.

"Honoka-chan?"

I didn't bother responding to my name. I just wanted to be alone. But, they wouldn't let me. Every half-an-hour Kotori-chan or Umi-chan would come up and try to talk to me. I wouldn't respond. I still didn't want to talk.

"Do you want something to eat?" I heard footsteps approaching me.

I moved my head up slightly so I could look. Kotori-chan gave me a smile as she held out a small tray of food. I sat up and hesitantly took it from her.

"Honoka-chan, I know it's been rough today, but I'd really appreciate if you'd at least talk. It doesn't have to be about what happened. We can talk about anything." Kotori-chan said as she took a seat beside me on the bed.

"What's there to talk about?" I mumbled quietly as I started picking at the food in front of me.

"Well… how about… we talk about the book you've been reading." Kotori-chan suggested.

I glanced over at the book by my bed. I'd gotten bored while being stuck here so I started reading some books from the small library in the house.

"Alright. I guess that'll do… can I eat first though?" I agreed to it. It wouldn't be that bad.

"Of course. Take your time. I'll be back up in 15 minutes." Kotori-chan nodded and left me to eat in peace.

…

When she had come back, Umi-chan was with her. We had talked for a while, before I stopped and said I had enough. They let me stop.

It was getting late. Umi-chan left us to go back to her house. She couldn't stay the night. Something was going on at her house.

Kotori-chan had decided to crawl into the bed with me. She had her own room but still wanted to stay with me. I didn't really want her with me, but I just stayed quiet. I don't need her to worry about me more than she already is.

I couldn't get to sleep though. I just tossed and turned a lot. I didn't wake Kotori-chan at all thankfully. I just wished I could sleep. My mind still won't shut up though. I can't get it to be quiet.

After a while longer, I decided I wasn't going to sleep. It just wasn't working. I tried to carefully climb over Kotori-chan to get off the bed. I must've hit her though. She woke up.

"Honoka?" She mumbled in a tired voice.

"Sorry. I can't sleep. I was gonna go and stand outside for a bit." I said, hoping she'd just let me do it.

"Okay… put on a jacket. It's cold out there." Kotori-chan replied.

I left the room and went downstairs. I threw on my shoes as well as a jacket. I stepped outside and walked a little ways from the house. I looked up at the night sky. It was a clear night. I could see the stars and moon. The moon was almost full so it lit up the street enough for me to see around.

I decided to go and walk down the street. Maybe a bit of exercise will help tire me out? I can only hope it will. And maybe this'll distract my mind for a bit. I really hate it repeating the girls' words to me and showing me the attack every few minutes.

It was a peaceful night. No one seemed to be outside but me. That's good. I can be alone again. If only my mind would just shut up. It still was running rampant.

I shouldn't go too far on my walk. I stopped at the end of the block and turned around. I saw a figure walking my way. I moved to the other side of the street and started heading back. I hope whoever that is will just ignore me.

I don't know why, but I feel scared. I have a feeling something bad is going to happen. But it's probably nothing. I always overreact to things.

But that person seems suspicious. I can't shake off the feeling that they're watching me closely. I did my best to ignore them. I don't want to start anything. I just want to go back now.

I passed the person with no issue. So I guess I was just overreacting as usual. At least, I thought I was.

No sooner did they pass me did I feel something hard hit me on the head. I stumbled and fell to the ground. Did that person do this?

I was too dazed to get up or even attempt to get up. My head was spinning and I could see black spots in my vision. I felt a cold liquid running down my head.

I'm bleeding. They hit me so hard that I bled. They brought down the object again, this time onto my legs. I couldn't even scream. I was in so much pain. I barely felt them hit my legs a second time.

But, I could feel the blood dripping down them and onto the pavement. They made me bleed again. I felt the bat being placed on my head for a minute. It was then removed. Are they lining up another hit?

If they hit me again I'm not gonna stay conscious. I'm in enough pain as it is. I'm really scared. What do they plan to do with me? Who are they? Am I ever gonna be found when they're done with me?

There's nothing I can do to stop them. I'm at their mercy. And I don't think they have any. They know what they're doing. They want me injured. I don't know if they want me dead though. To be honest, I'm not sure whether I'd like that option better than whatever they probably have in store for me if that isn't the case.

Right before they brought the bat down on me, I heard a voice. That voice sent shivers down my spine as I was knocked out from the second blow to my head. He's back.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, _Taro_?"


	20. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escaping from being kidnapped and A-Rise comes into the story

Honoka's POV:

When I finally came to, I saw I was somewhere I didn't recognize. I was in a building. A broken down building. I tried to move but I was in too much pain. The slightest movement hurt like hell.

I looked around the house as best I could. I didn't see much. It was just me here. Will that last? Is he gonna come back and get me?

I forced myself up despite the pain I was in. I need to get out of here. I stumbled my way across the room and to the door. It was unlocked. I opened it and was greeted by a forest. I gulped as I walked into it.

I walked straight ahead and hoped I wouldn't get lost. I still have no clue where in the world I am. And I don't know if he's gonna come back anytime soon. I need to get out and back to civilization fast.

I had no idea how long I had been walking for before I started to hear voices. They were faint, but it gave me some hope that I was near somewhere. I headed in the direction of the voices, hoping they were good people and not bad people.

As I drew closer, the town came into view slightly through the slits between the trees. So that meant he hadn't taken me too far away. Good. I know my way around town so I could hide if I needed to.

I couldn't tell what time of day it was. And I also had no idea if it was even the same day. Well, that is something I can clear up soon.

I could hear the voices better now. There were three of them. And they sounded familiar to me. I wasn't close enough to see them and the voices were still too quiet to tell who they belonged to.

It took a few minutes of walking, which was extremely painful, for me to get them in my sights. It was A-Rise. They were goofing around in a small clearing.

"Come on! Let me go!"

"You asked for it. I warned you to stop."

"Come on. Live a little, will ya!"

I slowly approached them, unsure if this was a good idea. What if they hated me? I remembered the fact that I had no clue how the other idol groups felt about me - if they knew. Some had found out and it wasn't going too well. A-Rise would probably know by now thanks to that bitch and her accomplices. I wouldn't have put it past them to tell other groups about us personally.

I stopped walking. Did I just say that? I called her a bitch. Oh my god…

I pushed that thought away and watched A-Rise for a few minutes. I didn't know if I could sneak around them and get out of the woods so I either had to wait till they left or went and showed myself to them. I debated my options for a while.

I decided it was best to just go and let them see me. It was better to have people around in case he showed up. I still don't know where he is. He could be anywhere.

I slowly made my way out of the dense woods and into their line of sight. The look of shock on their faces when they saw me wasn't comforting in the slightest.

"Honoka?" Tsubasa was the first to speak.

"H-hey…" I mumbled out.

"Oh my God, you're bleeding!" I heard Erena gasp.

I knew that already. But, just hearing those words made me feel the blood that was still sticky coating my hair.

"What happened to you!?" In an instant the three of them had surrounded me.

"Uh… I'm not really sure…" I replied, "I was attacked in the middle of the night while walking and then I woke up in an abandoned house."

"Do you know who it was?" Erena asked as she started walking around me, looking closely at my body.

"I think I might but I'm not positive…" I mumbled.

My head was starting to hurt worse than before. And my legs were at their limit. I could feel the pain slowly getting more intense as the time passed.

"Why don't you take a seat. You look like you're about to fall over," Anju took me by my arm and had me sit down against a tree.

I guess this means they don't hate me. Or it could just be that they feel pity toward me. Either way is fine. At least they're helping me out. I tried to figure that out as they helped me. I'd like to know their stance if possible.

"I have a first aid kit in my bag. Let me go get it." Erena said as she went and grabbed her bag from the other end of the clearing.

Tsubasa handed me an unopened water bottle, "Here. Drink something."

I accepted the drink and took slow sips. My throat was dry and hurt every time I swallowed so I had to take it slow. While I was doing that, Erena got to work at cleaning up my head. At least that's what it felt like.

"Who do you think did this?" Anju asked as she started to clean off my wounds on my arms.

"My… my dad…" I managed to say. I hated calling him that. He gave up that right the moment he disowned me.

"What? Why would he do that to you?" They all seemed shocked.

"He hates me…" I stated bitterly, "He even told me I was dead to him at one point…"

"Oh dear… that's not good…"

I stayed silent as they all worked on patching me up. I was impressed that they were doing that for me.

"Hey… uh, what day is today?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, it's Wednesday."

It was Monday night when I got attacked… I've been out for two days.

"How long have you been missing for?" Erena questioned.

"Two days… it was Monday when it happened." I replied quietly.

"Yikes."

Soon enough they finished and put everything away. I remained sitting, unsure if my legs would allow me to get up.

"Thank you for helping me." I said.

"It's nothing." They replied.

"Um… can I ask one question?" I asked hesitantly.

They all nodded, "Go ahead."

"Well, are you guys aware of… uh, the difference about me?" I didn't know how to word it.

"Huh? I'm not aware of anything like that." Erena replied after a moment of thought.

"Yeah, all we know is what we've seen about you online. But, nothing bad has come up." Anju agreed.

Tsubasa nodded along, "Indeed. Is there something we should be aware of?"

They don't know… but now I have to tell them or think of a lie. I shouldn't have asked.

"I'm surprised. I thought you would've been told…" I mumbled, "I guess I was wrong…"

"Is it a bad thing we weren't told?" Anju asked.

I shook my head, "No. I'm glad you weren't told. That means that not too many people know then."

"So, you don't want people to know this thing? How did they find out?"

"Some… some bitch told everyone at school… I thought she'd have spread it farther." I replied with a snarl. I liked calling her a bitch. I definitely fit her.

"Oh. Well, are you going to tell us or…?"

"I… I guess…" I sighed.

"It'll be alright. I'm sure it's nothing too bad." They tried to lighten the mood.

I gulped, "I'm… I'm trans… a trans girl…"

"So, that means you have a boy's body, right?"

I nodded, tears filling up in my eyes. I kept my head down, unable to look at them. I bet they're mad. I bet they hate me now.

I heard them whispering amongst themselves. I bet they're talking about me. And it's probably bad stuff about me.

"That's fine with us, Honoka. You be you. We'll support you along the way if you need us to." Tsubasa stated.

I looked up at them to see them all giving me genuine smiles. I felt the tears fall out of my eyes. They're okay with me. Our biggest rival group's members are okay with me.

"Is this perhaps the reason you were attacked by your dad?"

"Yes… he hates that I'm not his son." I said quietly, wiping away the tears in my eyes.

"Come. Let's go. You can come and hang out with us for a little. I assume you'll want to report him and tell μ's you're alright." Erena held out a hand to me.

I took it and allowed her to pull me up to my feet. Anju wrapped an arm around me to steady me as I swayed slightly. They grabbed their bags and then we started walking.

I can't believe this. I'm so glad they support me. It really means a lot.

 


	21. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A-Rise being helpful and finding out how everyone else reacted to Honoka disappearing

Honoka's POV:

It took us a while to walk to someone's house. I wasn't sure who's it was and didn't feel like asking. A-Rise all were really nice and helpful to me. They went at a pace I was comfortable walking at and gave me some support when I got shaky.

When we got inside the house, I sat down onto the couch in the living room and waited. I didn't know what else to do and my legs were killing me from that walk.

Erena went to go and grab some better medical supplies. Anju went to make some drinks for everyone. Tsubasa sat beside me on the couch.

"Do you want to call someone?" Tsubasa asked.

I thought about it for a little. Who would I call? What would I say? Would they even pick up?

"I don't know…" I replied quietly.

"Do you want me to call someone for you?" Tsubasa asked next.

"W-would you?" I was taken back. She'd do it for me?

Tsubasa nodded, "If course. I can see that you're afraid to talk to them. I'll do it if you want me to. It's no big deal."

Anju returned with some tea, "I'm back!"

"Thank you." I said as she gave me one of the cups.

"No problem." Anju replied as she sat beside me.

"So, is there anyone in particular you want me to call?" Tsubasa asked after Anju finished talking to me.

"No… anyone is fine…" I replied back.

Tsubasa excused herself to another room to make the call. She never asked for a number. I guess she must have someone's then. I wonder who she has?

Anju started up a conversation with me while we waited for either Tsubasa or Erena to come back. I talked quietly with her. She didn't seem to mind the fact I wasn't very loud. She acted like it was just a normal conversation to her.

Erena came back first. She held a bigger first aid kit in her arms as she set it down on the coffee table. She opened it up and got to work preparing it to clean my wounds.

"Are they serious at all?" I asked.

Erena shook her head, "No, thankfully. They seem to be severe but not so severe you need to go to the hospital."

"Thank god…" I sighed in relief, "I do not wanna be stuck there for another month…"

"You were recently in the hospital?" Anju questioned.

I shook my head, "Not recently. It's been a while. But, I was in there for almost two months."

"Why? If you don't mind telling, that is." Anju asked next.

Erena got to work patching up my head wound again. I winced in pain every now and again.

"At our last concert… that girl I told you about… she told everyone in the audience… they all knew and never told me. I felt so betrayed. I went to the roof of the school and jumped. I survived somehow, but I broke my back and was in a coma for over a month, I believe." I told them the story, keeping my eyes down and staring into the cup of tea.

"Oh. She's that kind, huh?" Erena sighed, "They are the worst type."

"You have different classifications for people?" I asked, a little confused.

"Yeah. It's easier to talk about them to people I know. They all know my way of classifying. It saves a lot of talking." Erena stated.

Tsubasa came back into the room. We all looked at her and waited for a response.

"Um… apparently your dad sent them a note saying he had killed you." Tsubasa started, "Obviously that isn't the case. They didn't know you were still alive."

I stared at her blankly. I didn't know how to react. He had tried to kill me? He thought he had killed me?

"Honoka? Are you alright?"

I nodded, "I-I'm fine. I wasn't expecting that, though…"

"I don't think anyone was. So, next matter of business. Do you wanna report him?"

"Yes." I stated firmly. I was done with him. He deserved to be punished for everything he's done to me.

I'm not just gonna hide from him or sit around and wait for him to do something else. If he wanted me dead and that didn't happen, he's gonna probably try again. I don't want that, obviously.

"I can do that. You don't need to get involved. I have contacts who can help."

"By the way, I invited Nozomi over since everyone has been so concerned."

"She's who you spoke to?"

"Yes, I have her number. I don't have anyone else's."

…

_Bonus: What μ's did the day after Honoka was kidnapped_

_(3rd person POV)_

_When Kotori woke up in the morning, Honoka wasn't in the bed. She was a little worried, but just chalked it up to Honoka not being able to sleep last night. She got out of the bed and went to look downstairs for Honoka._

_When she couldn't find her anywhere in the house, Kotori started getting worried. She looked at her phone to see if Honoka had sent her anything, and then remembered she saw her phone sitting on the nightstand. Honoka hadn't taken it with her._

_Kotori went to her mom, "Have you seen Honoka-chan today?"_

_"No, I haven't." Her mom shook her head._

_Kotori sighed as she went to the room again and pulled out her phone. She texted everyone in μ's and asked them if they know where Honoka was. They all gave her negatives and asked what was wrong. Kotori explained that Honoka went outside late at night to get some air and never came back. Everyone started getting concerned._

_They all met up on the way to school and talked about it. No one had any clue as to where she could be. But, they knew deep in their hearts that her parents probably were responsible for her vanishing._

_"Guys, there was a piece of paper at my house. I haven't opened it. I thought we should all look at it together." Umi said as she showed them a note folded messily in half._

_"Let's read it at school." Eli stated._

_They sped up their walking. Everyone felt the note had a bad atmosphere to it. They just could tell it had something to explain about what happened to Honoka._

_Once they reached the school, they went to their club room and started opening the note. Umi was the one who saw the contents first. She dropped the note to the table with a shocked expression._

_"Umi-chan?" Kotori poked her on the shoulder._

_Eli grabbed the note from the table and read over it herself. She let out a gasp. Everyone stared at her and waited to see if she'd tell them what it said. It was obviously bad if they both reacted as they did._

_"Well, what does it say?" Nico asked impatiently._

_"Just… just read it yourself." Eli replied as she set the note in the middle of the table._

_They passed it around and read it. Each member reacted in a similar fashion to Umi or Eli. The note was very bad._

_..._

_Note:_  
_Hello, μ's. Or, at least what's left of it. I've taken the matter of your tranny into my own hands and disposed of them for you. I bet you're glad._

_P.S. don't bother reporting me. Without a body they won't be able to do much to accuse me. And this note isn't written in my normal handwriting. You'll never get me._

_…_

_Once everyone had read it, that's when the chaos broke out. No one knew how to react. That news was that last thing they wanted to get. And without any leads, they had to believe his words were true._

_"What do we do?"_

_"Should we go and look for her?_

_"Can we still report him?"_

_"Is that really the truth?"_

_"He's lying, right? Right?"_

_μ's was a mess. And they'd stay that way until the next day when Nozomi got the call. Then they were relieved to be told she wasn't dead like the note had said she was._


	22. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally learning Honoka’s past

Honoka's POV:

It was a slow 15 minutes of waiting for Nozomi-chan to arrive. While we were waiting for her, we all chatted about life and watched some TV. Tsubasa was the one who went and answered the door when the doorbell rang. Anju mutes the TV and because of that we could hear hushed whispering for a few minutes going on between them before they walked back into the living room.

I locked eyes with Nozomi-chan as she walked in. She gave me a smile. I could see she was trying to hold back on crying. I'm not surprised though. If I was in her position I'd be balling my eyes out by now.

I stood up. I was a little shaky still, but not enough to be concerned about, even though I could see that they were all glancing at me with worried eyes. I made my way over to where Nozomi-chan stood as fast as I could. Once I stood in front of her, I hugged her.

I felt tears forming in my eyes. I didn't bother trying to hold them back. I let them fall freely as I gripped Nozomi-chan tightly. I'm so glad that she's here.

Nozomi-chan hugged me back, "I'm glad you're okay."

We stayed hugging for a few minutes. I pulled away and looked up at her. Nozomi-chan gave me her smile as always. I managed a small smile back at her. For once it was not a fake smile. This one was a genuine one. Nozomi-chan grabbed my hand and led me back to the couch to sit.

I stayed close to her side. She didn't seem to mind. Nozomi-chan wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. I rested my head on her arm.

"So... Honoka, would you be willing to talk about why your family is this way?" Nozomi-chan asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah... I think I'm ready to talk."

I'd been avoiding this conversation for so long now. I don't want to anymore. I've come to realize that if I let them in they can help me better. And, if I talk now, then maybe he'll get punished even more.

"You can begin whenever you're ready."

I nodded and thought about what I should tell them. Should I do the long version or should I just give them a shorter version?

"Well... My parents have always wanted a boy. And they got one. But, he died of SIDS after a few weeks. So, they tried again and got me. As you can imagine, they were thrilled when the doctor said I was a boy." I paused for a minute.

The four of them were watching me. They had sympathetic looks on their faces.

"I was five when I first started showing signs of being trans. But, they just brushed it off as a phase. I didn't do anything back then. They let me occasionally pretend to be a girl, but still insisted I was a boy just being a kid. But, when I turned seven, I started fighting back. I wanted to wear girly outfits outside of the house. I wanted long hair. I didn't want to have an hour to pretend I was a girl and have them play along. I wanted to be me 24/7." I continued.

I felt Nozomi-chan hold my hand reassuringly as I spoke again, "They made it a really big deal. At the time none of us knew what was going on with me. They thought I was doing it to spite them. All they had wanted was a boy and then all of a sudden they were told they didn't have a boy. I can understand how they felt, but how they reacted wasn't okay. The moment I tried to do anything they considered "girly" I was hit. I couldn't take it for long and I tried to kill myself."

They all looked at me with shocked expressions. I can't say I blame them. I tried to kill myself when I was seven. That's really young.

"Obviously, I failed. They started letting me act and dress how I wanted. I was told it was because they didn't want to lose me. But, I don't really know if that's the case." I concluded.

"Man... some people are assholes no matter what." Anju sighed.

"Yeah. Well, don't worry. I'll make sure he's arrested for his actions." Erena stated.

"Thank you." I told them.

"Hey, if you ever need any help we're here." Tsubasa replied, smiling at me.

"I'll remember that." I nodded.

Nozomi-chan stood up, "Thank you guys for helping her. Would you like to go home now?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

We said our farewells to A-Rise and then we started walking back to my house. Nozomi-chan let me hold her arm for support as we walked on. I was pretty good, but I sometimes got a little dizzy. It didn't take that long before the house was in sight.

"Is everyone there waiting for us to return?" I asked.

Nozomi-chan nodded, "Yes. Everyone really wants to see you. They couldn't wait any longer."

"And I really want to see them." I stated, "I've really missed everyone."

Nozomi-chan smiled at me. I think she's realized that I'm willing to start opening up to them. I've realized just how much I really need them all. They may have betrayed my trust once, but I can forgive them. I need them.

"Hey, we're here!" Nozomi-chan announced cheerfully as we walked through the door and into the living room.

Everyone was standing there. Once they saw me, everyone broke out into smiles. I felt someone grab me and hold me close. I looked to my left and saw Kotori-chan was hugging me. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I let go of Nozomi-chan's arm and hugged Kotori-chan back. I felt someone else hug me from my right side.

I turned my head slightly to see Umi-chan was there. She had tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She was trying to hold them back. I removed my right arm from Kotori-chan and wrapped it around Umi-chan instead. She started crying as she hugged me tighter.

Eventually everyone wanted to hug me and they let go. One by one, the rest of μ's hugged me as well. I accepted all of them with a smile as they cried into my chest. I'm glad to be back. I've missed them.

"So, what exactly happened to you?" Umi-chan was the one to ask the question I was waiting for.

"Let me sit down and I'll tell you what I can." I replied and made my way to the couch.

Everyone followed my lead and took a seat somewhere in the room so they could hear my story. I could tell they looked relieved I wasn't trying to shy away from their questions anymore.

Umi-chan and Kotori-chan sat next to me on the couch I chose. Nozomi-chan, Rin-chan, and Hanayo-chan sat on the other couch. Eli-chan was going to sit in the lounge chair, but offered it to Maki-chan and sat on the floor next to Nico-chan instead. Once everyone was situated, they all looked at me and waited.

And so I began to talk, "I'm guessing you all know I went out for some air and never came back?"

Everyone nodded.

"Well, I decided to go take a walk because I wasn't feeling tired and thought it would help. I went to the end of the block and started coming back. Someone else was walking the other direction on the opposite side of the street as I came back. I didn't pay too much attention to them and kept walking. After we passed each other, they got behind me and hit me on the head with something. I think it was bat of some kind. They hit my legs with it and then hit my head again and everything went black. When I woke up, I was in a random house in the woods. That was earlier today. I managed to get up and left the house. I walked around and tried to find civilization. I ended up finding A-Rise. I approached them and they helped treat my wounds. Then they brought me to a house and that's when Nozomi-chan got the call." I recited the story.

"And you know it was your dad, right?" Kotori-chan asked me.

I nodded, "He made himself known right before he knocked me out."

"What's gonna happen to him?" Hanayo-chan asked.

"Erena was nice enough to handle the reporting herself. I don't know exactly what'll happen to him, but he'll hopefully get in trouble for what he did." I replied.

"Will you tell them why your family is like this?" Nozomi-chan prompted.

I nodded, "I guess it's about time I do that, isn't it?"

Everyone shared smiles as they looked at each other. I was, after all, finally doing something they had constantly asked of me. I can't really blame them for being happy. So, I retold them what I had told Nozomi-chan and A-Rise earlier that day.

 


	23. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning home (in two ways)

Honoka's POV:

After I had finished my story, everyone had settled into doing their own things. I had taken the opportunity to snuggle up next to Umi-chan, much to her embarrassment. It's nice to be back. I really don't know what I would do without these girls. They're my family, after all.

As time went by, everyone started to leave and go home. Soon enough, only Umi-chan and Kotori-chan remained in the house with me.

"Honoka-chan, um, you've changed. I don't mean it in a bad way but, you definitely seem different." Kotori-chan stammered as she held my hand.

"I know… I just kinda had a realization moment and, well, I started to see things differently." I offered as my best explanation to my sudden change in behavior.

"I'm glad. You seem happier now." Kotori-chan gave me a tiny kiss on my cheek.

I smiled and kissed her on the cheek as well. I felt a slight tug on my shirt and looked over to see Umi-chan pouting. I smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the cheek as well. Kotori-chan copied me.

"So… you wanna go make something to eat?" Kotori-chan asked.

"Sure." I nodded.

The three of us walked to the kitchen and discussed what we wanted to make. After a bit of debating, we decided on making some spaghetti. It was a nice and relaxing thing to do.

We talked over dinner about whatever we wanted. It was fun. I really do need them. They've changed my life so much since I've met them. I don't even want to imagine what my life would've ended up like if I hadn't met any of them. That was a world I didn't ever want to know.

After we finished eating, we set out some futons in Kotori-chan's room. We were going to sleep together on the floor. As we settled down, with me in the middle, the conversation came to an end. The two of them were already falling asleep, but I wasn't. My mind had decided I had gone too long without worrying about something.

When we went to school tomorrow, what would happen? Would those girls try anything again? I didn't show up for two days and they'll have no idea why. What if they think they made me stay home and hide? What if they hurt me and this time no one saves me?

I couldn't fall asleep with those thoughts running wild in my head. I turned to my side and tried to shut them out. I don't want those thoughts right now. I just want to sleep. Why can't I just have one day without a problem?

"Honoka?" Umi-chan's tired voice called softly to me.

I opened my eyes and looked at her, "Y-yeah?"

"What's wrong? You seem stressed." Umi-chan asked me as she intertwined our fingers.

"My mind won't shut up…" I groaned, "I can't sleep with it running wild."

"What're you thinking about?" Umi-chan shifted to embrace me.

"What's going to happen tomorrow. Those girls are still around, aren't they?" I didn't see any reason to lie. Maybe she could help calm my nerves?

"Yeah. They are. Don't worry about them, though. Just don't go anywhere by yourself and it'll be alright." Umi-chan nuzzled her face into my hair.

"Okay. I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too. Try and get some rest, okay? Wake us if you need anything." Umi-chan returned to her original position.

"Okay. Goodnight." I laid on my back again.

"Goodnight." Umi-chan replied.

Within a few minutes she was asleep. I closed eyes and tried to sleep as well. It was hard. My worries were still there.

…

I ended up falling asleep eventually. Unfortunately, it was late when I did, so when the alarm went off to wake up, I was still really tired. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and yawned. I wonder if I'll last the day without dozing off.

Umi-chan was the first one out of the bed. Kotori-chan gave me a hug, before she stood up as well. I stretched before I slowly tried to get up. I struggled to push myself up.

"Need some help?" Umi-chan held out her hands to me.

I nodded and grabbed them. She helped me stand up. We all went and got dressed for school. Then we had breakfast together. My worries had returned again, but I tried to push them away and act like they weren't there.

Soon enough, we were on the way to school. We talked about what I had missed as we walked. It didn't take us long to reach the school. We made our way to the clubroom to see that almost everyone was there. Eli-chan was missing.

"Eli-chi had to stay behind and do some work. She told me to come here and that she could handle it." Nozomi-chan told everyone after we started asking.

We went through the meeting without her. It was a little strange. We ended the meeting a little earlier than normal. I took this time to go and use the bathroom before a lot of students started coming in.

As I was walking back, they showed up. We stood silently and faced each other. The two of them looked like they had a plan for what they wanted to do. If they tried anything I could easily run in the opposite direction.

"Look who's back." One of them sneered at me.

I stayed silent and kept looking at them. What are they planning?

"Guess you didn't learn your lesson, huh? Leave this school and never come back." She growled at me.

I don't know how to respond to that. What would I say to that? There has to be something I could say.

"Fine then. I guess we'll just have to make you." They growled as me as they approached.

I backed away. What should I do? Even if I do run, I won't be that fast. They could probably catch me if they tried. There has to be some way I could lose them.

"If I were you, I wouldn't do that." A familiar voice called from behind me.

"And what are you gonna do about it?" The girls asked.

"Come with me. I think it's time you get expelled for your problems." Eli-chan walked over to the girls and grabbed them by the shoulders.

"You can't do this!" They protested.

"I can. You've done enough to the students at this school. Now move." Eli-chan stated as she shoved them down the hall.

I watched them go. Once they were out of my sight, I went and made my way back to the clubroom. Everyone else was waiting for me. After I promised that nothing bad had happened to me, they let it go and we talked.

…

School went by without any more issues. Those girls were finally taken care of. I could go about my day in peace.

As we were getting ready for practice, I approached Eli-chan and asked her about what she had done to the girls.

"They've been expelled. You weren't the only one they were picking on. It was easy to form a case against them." Eli-chan replied.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me."

After that, we had our practice. I was still stuck on the sidelines watching them. It would be a while before I was well enough to dance. I just hope that I'm given the clear before the school year ends. I want to be an idol again.

After we finished practice, we headed to all go home. As we were walking, someone started to come toward us. We all waited, unsure who it was. Once they got close enough, I was shocked to see who it was.

"Yukiho?" I asked as I walked closer to her.

"Hey. I need to talk to you." Yukiho replied.

I glanced at everyone, before nodding. Yukiho took me by the hand and led me away. We paused at a bench along the street and sat. We didn't say anything to each other for a while.

"So… what's up?" I asked quietly.

"Dad got arrested." Yukiho stated.

"I know." I replied.

Yukiho's eyes widened, "What did he do?"

"Tried to kill me."

"W-what?"

Yukiho stared at me in shock. Right. She probably wasn't given any details.

"Yeah… he tried to kill me… Thankfully he failed."

"Honoka, there's another issue."

"And what is that?" I asked. What other issue could there be?

"Well, mom has been getting questioned and, I think they're going to arrest her as well." Yukiho stated after a few seconds of silence.

"Why?"

"Because of you. They asked where you were and since mom never reported when you 'went missing' they are thinking of charging her with neglectful parenting."

"Oh…"

"Will you please come to the house with me. They need to see you and it'll help get the case moving. I'm sure you want mom arrested, don't you?" Yukiho said.

I nodded, "I do. I guess I'll come with you."

I texted Kotori-chan and told her what I'd be doing. She texted back telling me to be safe. I'll try my best to stay safe. If the cops are there, I think I'll be pretty safe.

"Honoka, you are aware of what name they'll use right?" Yukiho asked me quietly as we walked.

I nodded, "Yeah. I know. I can deal with it for this."

"Alright."

We soon arrived at the place I had abandoned as my home a while ago. It felt weird coming back to it after all this time. There was a police car outside the house. So they're already here. I guess Yukiho promised them that she would bring me over today.

"Let's go in." Yukiho stated.

"Alright. Let's do it."


	24. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honoka’s mom gets her karma

Honoka's POV:

Yukiho and I slowly walked inside the house. Yukiho announced our presence and then guided me into the living room. We got there to see that there were two police officers and mom waiting for us. The moment I walked in, mom glared at me.

I did my best not to react and instead looked at the police. They're the only reason that I'm here. I'd never have come back here on my free will.

"I take it that you are Taro?" One of them asked me.

I took a deep breath. This is going to be painful. But, I can do it. I can survive this. It can't take that long, right?

I nodded, "Yes, that would be me."

"Good. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ask you some questions in private." He responded.

I don't want to be alone with him. What if he asks about my appearance? Or, what if he asks me why I left? He's going to find out I'm trans one way or another. I don't trust his reaction.

"I don't want to be alone." I stated, my voice shaking a little as I spoke.

"Let me come with!" Yukiho begged, making sure she didn't use any pronouns for me.

The officer sighed, "Fine. You two come with me to the kitchen."

We followed him into the kitchen and took some seats. He eyed the two of us down for a few minutes before he actually started asking any questions.

"First question I have is: What is with you? I was told she had a son who ran away." The officer eyed me intensely.

I took a deep breath and then spoke the words that would seal my fate, "I'm trans."

He blinked at me a few times, before glaring at me, "I'm not wasting my time with a deranged person like you."

He stormed out of the room and left us. We sat in silence as the shock wore off. I felt tears threatening to fall from my eyes. Yukiho wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back as I started crying.

We could hear arguing going on in the living room. I doubt it's anything I'd want to hear. What if he forces me to stay with mom again?

"It'll be okay… I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you." Yukiho promised as she pulled me closer.

We froze as we heard footsteps approaching our position. What's going to happen now? Am I done for?

We pulled away and sat upright in our chairs. I tried to clean my face up from the tears. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

The other officer came in. She gave me a reassuring smile as she walked closer to us. She sat down close to us.

"It's okay. I'm sorry about him. He's not very open to different ideas." She apologized.

She waited as I calmed down. Yukiho held one of my hands for support. I squeezed it back.

"Would you mind answering the questions now?" The officer asked.

I nodded, "Y-yeah."

"Alright. Take your time answering. The first question is why did you run away?"

"I feared for my life." I replied.

"Where have you been staying?"

"A friend's house."

"Okay. Now I need some details on what your mother has done to you." The officer said.

"Okay…"

…

We spent a good half-an-hour talking. Once she was satisfied with her questions, she told me what I was waiting to hear. Mom would be arrested. The problem now is, where am I going to go?

Someone has to adopt me since I'm not an adult yet. The officer promised me she wouldn't let anyone else in my family adopt me because they're all assholes to me. Now I need to find someone who would do that for me.

"Honoka?" Yukiho called.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Do you think we'll be able to stay together?" She asked me.

I didn't have a clear answer to give her. For all I know we might be separated and never see each other again. I hope that won't happen. I gave Yukiho an unsure shrug.

"Let's go. I don't wanna stay here." Yukiho tugged me outside.

I followed her outside. We stood there facing each other for a while. Where do we go now? I guess we could go to where I've been staying for now. Maybe Kotori-chan's mom will know what to do?

"Come with me." I said and then led Yukiho to the house.

We walked inside. Kotori-chan greeted us. Yukiho did the talking to explain what had been decided. Kotori-chan shared the same worry as us. What if we all get separated?

She left us to go find her mom. Yukiho and I took some seats in the living room as we waited.

"Do you have any type of plan?" Yukiho asked.

"Maybe a μ's family could adopt us?" I replied.

"You think they would?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, but it's our best chance of staying together."

Yukiho nodded in agreement as Kotori-chan and her mom came into the living room. Kotori-chan sat beside me and hugged me. I hugged her back. We sat up as her mom started talking.

"So you're parents have both been arrested?" She started off asking that.

We nodded in reply, "Yes, so now someone has to adopt us."

"I take it no one else related to you is allowed?"

"Yeah… at least for me." I replied.

"Do you have anyone in mind?"

We shook our heads. We didn't have any idea where to start looking. That's why I decided to see if she could help us at all.

"Well, I suppose I could adopt you. It's not like I haven't been raising you for a while." She told us.

Kotori-chan, Yukiho, and I shared smiles. We were going to stay together.

"Thank you!" Yukiho and I stated.

Kotori-chan's mom smiled, "It's nothing. You deserve a break from that life."

…

The next day we made the process final. She became our legal guardian. It's nice to have a welcoming home for once.

Yukiho and I have to share a bedroom, but that's fine. I tend to sleep with Kotori-chan instead. The three of us were really happy.

"Hey, Honoka-chan. Tomorrow we have a surprise for you." Kotori-chan told me as we were going to bed.

"Not going to give me any hints?" I pouted.

"Nope. You'll find out tomorrow." Kotori-chan smiled at me.

"Fine." I replied as I kissed her on the cheek.

"You know, I'm surprised mom lets us sleep in the same room." Kotori-chan said.

"Well, she doesn't need to worry. I'm not comfortable doing something like that." I stated.

"True. I guess she realized that as well." Kotori-chan kissed me on the cheek and snuggled closer to me.

"Goodnight. I'm excited to see what this surprise is." I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

"Night. I'm sure you'll love it." Kotori-chan replied as she went to sleep herself.


	25. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The surprise revealed

Honoka's POV:

The next morning, I woke up to Kotori-chan shaking me. I yawned as I stretched and sat up. She smiled at me and tugged me off the bed. She handed me some clothes and told me to change. I guess the surprise is now.

Once I was dressed, Kotori-chan pulled me out of the room and down to the kitchen. We ate a quick breakfast. I have no idea what this surprise is. It obviously has to be something outside of the house. I just don’t know what that could be.

“So, I guess I should tell you about the surprise.” Kotori-chan said.

I looked at her with eager eyes. I want to know what it is. I’m excited to see what it is.

“Well, mom decided that you’re old enough to start transitioning. Today you’ll go to a therapist so you can get a diagnosis.” Kotori-chan told me with a smile on her face.

I felt tears falling out of my eyes as I hugged her. I finally can start. I’ll finally be able to be who I am. I can’t wait.

“Umi-chan will be coming over this afternoon. I have another thing planned.” Kotori-chan continued as she patted my head, “Today we want to make you as happy as we can.”

“I can’t wait.” I whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now we better get ready to go.” Kotori-chan pulled away from me.

I nodded and allowed Kotori-chan to pull me toward the door. Her mom was waiting for us already. I know technically she is my mom now too, but I don’t think I can call her that. I prefer keeping it the same.

We headed outside and to the car. It was a bit of a drive to get to the building. Kotori-chan and I chatted the entire drive. It went by in a blur and before I knew it, we were there.

I got signed in and then we waited for my name to be called. I’m nervous. I have no idea what to expect from this. I held Kotori-chan’s hand as we waited. She squeezed it back reassuringly.

We didn’t have to wait long before my name was called. It made me happy to hear my chosen name. I stood up and hesitantly followed the woman down the hall. I guess it’s time to finally get everything together in my life.

…

The meeting lasted half-an-hour. I was officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria and we made an appointment to see about getting me onto some pills. I can’t wait to see what I’ll look like once it starts.

The ride home was the same. We talked about life and goofed off until we got home. We ate some lunch and then lounged around and waited for Umi-chan to show up. Yukiho was hanging out with friends so she wasn’t home.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Kotori-chan answered the door. Umi-chan came in. She dropped a bag in front of me. I gave her a confused look.

“Look inside.” Umi-chan told me.

I pulled the bag open and looked inside. It looks like a lot of art stuff. Just what are we doing today? I’m confused by these objects.

“What are these for?” I asked.

“We’re gonna do arts and crafts today!” Kotori-chan told me happily.

Umi-chan nodded and took the bag from me. She started pulling everything out of it. There’s a lot of stuff she brought. How long is all of this going to take to do? I mean, it’s not like I’m complaining. There’s nothing else to do today, so I’m okay with this taking a long time.

Kotori-chan turned on the TV for some background noise. We sat on the floor around the coffee table in the living room. Umi-chan was organizing all the objects into piles. I guess they go together.

“Chose a pile to start with.” Umi-chan said after a few minutes.

I glanced at all the piles on the table. They all had a lot to them. These look like they’re all going to be complicated. I guess I’ll just randomly choose one. We’ll probably get through all of them by the end of the night any way.

I chose a random pile and we started working on it. It was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. It wasn’t as hard as I thought either. The crafts were actually pretty easy.

…

As night fell, we had abandoned the crafts and instead opted to watch some movies. I was snuggled up between Kotori-chan and Umi-chan on the couch. We were watching an action movie at the moment. It was an older one so it looked a little strange. It was a pretty good movie though.

Soon enough, we were told we needed to go to bed. Umi-chan was going to spend the night. We said goodnight to Kotori-chan’s mom and Yukiho and then we went to bed. We ended up setting up a bed on the floor. We wouldn’t all fit together on Kotori-chan’s bed.

I was sandwiched between them as usual. Kotori-chan was snuggled up next to me and gripping my arm. I couldn’t move it at all. Umi-chan, on the other hand, was sleeping silently on her back beside me. She tended to sleep like that a lot. I wonder if I can break her out of that habit and get her to cuddle?

I like to cuddle. I’m happy to have Kotori-chan clinging to me. I kissed her head, hoping that wouldn’t wake her. I was the only one left awake at the moment. She didn’t wake. I closed my eyes and decided it was time to sleep.

Everything has finally gone right. I have a family that loves me for who I am. I couldn’t ask for a better outcome. I’m excited to see where the future will take me. I bet it’ll be filled with a lot of fun. I can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end.  
> There will be a sequel featuring Aqours (with μ's making appearances later on).
> 
> Anyone want to try and guess the 2 trans members for Aqours? How about what type of trans they are?


End file.
